TheMasterFatman said 9 years, 5 months ago:

So recently I got in a fight with my father, I had a minor break down and told him that I was afraid of being a failure. What I didn’t tell him is that my idea of failure is him, I look at him and see an unhappy, sad, lonely man and if I were to be like him I realize I would kill myself. I don’t want to be like him, but the with every passing day I realize that I am so much like him it hurts. I don’t know how to talk to women, I am socially awkward, my opinions can be cruel, and I suffer from small bouts of depression. My only redeeming qualities are those of my mothers, acceptance, intelligence, and creativity. But having those makes the issue worse, I have ADD and no matter what I do putting effort into anything is nearly impossible, I want to develop video games but I have no patience to learn any coding language, and so every day I go to bed remembering that I am doing exactly what my father did, wanting a something but not doing it because my life is telling me I can’t. What do I do, I don’t want to give up on the idea of being a game developer, I don’t want to be my father, and I don’t want to fail myself. Please help.

Mia said 9 years, 4 months ago:

I’m not sure how I feel about the carrot and stick system mentioned by GBWest – maybe it’s a great idea as you seem to be clear on what you want, maybe it’s not as great as it might cause you to try to force yourself to do something regardless of whether you truly enjoy the thing. So I’ll put a different suggestion out there: Maybe if you start small, without putting pressure on yourself to be any good or even to like it, to be content with the fact that you’re a worthy person even if you try coding and don’t like it. It’s a scary thought to really want to do something and have the possibility that you won’t like it – and chances are you will like it, or it will lead to what aspect of game development you do like and excel in.

“My only redeeming qualities are those of my mothers, acceptance, intelligence, and creativity” -Hey these are great qualities, I wouldn’t call them “my only redeeming qualities” I’d say “I’ve got some great qualities!” Can I say something about acceptance – i assume you’re accepting of others, and that’s awesome. How accepting are you of yourself? Do you love yourself?

I’d totally recommend trying counseling if you don’t already. If you go to school or work you are maybe covered, or there are also some places that you can be put on a waitlist for free(?) or low-cost. Or something not-so-official, like a family member maybe your mom (personally, I’m not very open about my feelings towards my family, but that’s my own issues and I think a lot of people do talk with their family members and it’s great.)

I don’t want to be my father either because I think he’s given up on a lot of his dreams also without even realizing he’s given up.