It’s been more than one year since ive had to make the hardest decision in my life… I’ll start from the beginning. I started dating my high-school sweetheart again, he had a 3 year old daughter and was fresh out of a divorce. I had my 4 year old daughter and we all moved in with each-other… after a while of dating everything was fine minus a few fights over the way we were raising the kids, but i expected that because we were two different families trying to become one. I did everything i could to make things right, but he always chose to defend his daughter( which isn’t a bad thing) over the relationship even when he knew i was right, he let her beat up my daughter and would flip on me if i tried putting her in time out for anything, but when it came to my daughter he’d basically shun her to the corner half the time… I got pregnant with his child and things just got worse, he was so mean to my daughter and myself, and i couldn’t take it anymore.. so i sat him down to have a talk with him about things to try and fix it and he BLEW up on me, that’s when i decided i couldn’t fix the relationship… In a completely different topic i had fell off the top of a bunk bed and snapped my knee and tore my ACL and pretty much ruined all my cartilage in my right knee… so here i am, 22, mother of one, pregnant with another, and i can’t even walk… no doctor would do surgery on me because of the pregnancy… so when i decided to leave the relationship i moved with my mother and her new husband… i got constant threats from the guy… lets call him tyler, and his mother. Tyler threanted to take my unborn baby from me, and to contact the father of my daughter and try to get him on board because of my condition ( Jobless, can’t even walk, living with my mom)… it went on for weeks, until my family started pressuring me into an Abortion, which made sense because of everything going on in my life, but ive always been so against them so how could i even think of doing that!?…… but eventually i had to think of my daughter, it wasn’t fair to her that i couldnt even take care of her or walk to play with her, and here i am about to go through with a pregnancy that could complicate our lives so much. So i decided to go through with it, after so much consideration, it took me two times at the clinic because i panicked and walked out the first time… i was 12 weeks 3 days, and i can’t even look at myself in the mirror sometimes, while i know it was the best decision for my life its still so hard for me to try and picture what my baby would have looked like… and i do my best to just ignore it, to push all these feelings to the bottom and to try and pretend like it never happened… But sometimes i just can’t… i feel shitty about my choice, its been over a year since i chose abortion… and in that year, i started to walk again, got a full time job, an apartment, and a new life for JUST my daughter and I… no men needed… and its been great, to provide so much for my daughter all on my own… but i still feel like i don’t deserve happiness because of my choice… and recently ive seen pictures of Tyler and his new ” girlfriend” and it’s really brought me down, i can’t seem to move past this… Sorry for such a long post and please no mean comments….