I dated a girl back in February. It was blissful, it was happy. After getting cheated on last year and walking the path of recovery, I thought it was time for me to start loving again.
Things were beautiful and romantic at first. On valentines, I asked her if she would be my girlfriend, to which she said she was not ready as she just got out of a relationship a month back.
So we agreed that we will take things slowly and work it out. Status wise, I am not her boyfriend. She told me she already saw me as a boyfriend, but doesn’t want to make it official yet, so I persevered and waited patiently.
Whenever she went out for supper with her friend(s), I felt no jealousy or worry, for I understood that she has to have her own life. But then, while keeping a low profile within our clique of friends, one of the girls suspected that something was going on between her and me and questioned, teasingly. To which I admitted that we were not together, but we were seeing each other.
It was then that this girl told me of the messages she sent to this other guy in the clique (it was discomforting because it was flirty) and even the lullaby which I sang specially for her, she sang it to that guy.
It was at that point, that I started to become insecure and paranoid over things when she played games with a certain individual for long, and I had friends coming to tell me that she was setting sparks to almost every guy that teased her in an online game.
With my insecurities and paranoia, things started to go downhill to the point that she stopped trying and told me to just give up.
Fast forward, I did a lot of things for her, like driving her to work during her internship, surprising her with snacks and ice cream when I know she was bored. I was playing the role of a nice guy, hoping that my actions would somehow touch her heart. None of it worked.
The one thing, which I held dearly for hope, was that she bought me an acoustic guitar for valentines, because I wanted to learn the guitar and when I finally do, I can teach her.
That was the one thing that made me held on to hope, and all the happy memories we had before shit hit the fan.
I am confused. Hold on? Or move on. I still hope that she will come back in the near future, that I maintain as friends and gain her trust back slowly. But what if in the event that it does not work? That during the process, she went with another guy?
What if it will workout but I give up now?
What should I do?