Hello, I’ve been trying to vent to anyone about this issue. You may think my story is fake but I just want to know someone’s heard my story. Here it begins… I’ve grown up to always seem like the happiest girl. I’ve also cried plenty times. My parents divorced when I became a freshman in high school. At the time, I wasn’t happy nor sad. Then realized later on it was a time where I was confused on what I was feeling. After the divorce, me and my mom left and moved into a apartment where I soon stopped going to school altogether. I didn’t care about anything, but felt alone. Mom wanted me for her own reasons only, she truthfully admitted that she didn’t love my brothers because we weren’t completely her ethnicity. She said that in front of me, my uncle and my cousins. I hid my pain. She soon got pregnant and hid the mans identity from everyone. To tell you the truth, my parents… both of them were cheating on each other. My two older brothers went and lived with an uncle in California, constantly I would hear my grandma call my mom saying no one wanted them. That they ate too much and did nothing. It hurt me so much that my mom didn’t care one bit. My dad… a man I once loved. He was a man who only cared for the girls. Even when the youngest of the two older brothers came, it was good for a year and everything went bad. My dad left and went to California vowing he would find a job and come get them. It’s been almost a year and my two brothers are living with my cousin who’s parents are also divorced. She sees them as a burden but can’t do anything. When I hear no one wants them, I hate my mom. I hate my dad. I got locked up in that apartment for almost two years watching her new baby that she praised like a god. She got forced to send me back to finish school… I just graduated from high school. The thing is my life isn’t going no where… all she cares is about the baby. If the baby wasn’t there, she said that I would be long gone. Saying I’m a child from hell. Saying she wished I would disappear from the earth. We also live with an uncle that sexually molested me when I was younger, I have no idea how much times he have touched me when I was sleeping. When my mom went away for a week, I forced myself to stay up scared he might do something to me. Days and night till I fell asleep I awoke to him trying to lift my blanket up. He didn’t know I knew… That day made me feel totally worthless. Like shit. Like I wasn’t worthy of anything. I sleep with fear every night, now I wake up to the slightest noise. I begged my mom to find us a 3 bedroom apartment, she didn’t. I sleep in the living room, on the ground. Putting my bins of clothes on my right side, the wall on my left. I feel like I’ll lose myself soon… I won’t know what I should be feeling, that I will soon feel nothing. I constantly know my happiness won’t last so I don’t try to be happy. When I get hurt by an object, I barely feel any pain no more. It doesn’t hurt like it should. I feel like I can’t be happy while my brothers are being treated like that. Whenever I’m happy, it lasts no longer than 15 minutes… Depression hit me, and I feel like it’s soon coming back. I am too scared to end my life. I know there’s happiness somewhere yet I still manage to tell myself I won’t ever find it.
My family seems like it fell out of a TV series. A TV series with a bad ending. Tell me, why is it this way?