St. James said 2 years, 6 months ago:

Well. To make it short, I think I have a boring way of telling stuff or some like that.
Is really hard making new friends and keep the old ones because I feel they get sooo bored when talking to me.

Yesterday I was at a party with some friends and new people.
Dancing with a girl I popped out the typical questions (Age, where are you from, what do you study) and didn’t feel any response to continue a conversation, just dry simple answers.
I lost some friends because of this and even my best female friend is walking away slowly because her new university friends are so much fun and apparently is something I can offer because she do everything wiith them and started with excuses for avoiding do something.

Has anyone a similar experience or a similar friend? This just gets out of control. I’m everyday angry because I can’t keep a normal conversation with anybody.
I’ll be glad with a couple of advices

AnnieH said 2 years, 5 months ago:

Hey St James! I am by no means an expert at anything but in reading your narrative something struck me. ” I popped out the typical questions (Age, where are you from, what do you study) and didn’t feel any response to continue a conversation, ” From my perspective when someone asks me those generic or usual questions I feel one of two emotions either scorn or indifference. Not because they are prying questions but because it gives me the impression that the asker is either just filling a void with noise or really doesn’t find me interesting. If you were dancing with me, I would hope that any questions didn’t make me feel as if I was on Judge Judy. Instead, comment on my outfit, my hair or make a comment about the music and ask me what type that I prefer and let a conversation develope without just a barrage of questions. You can build on my responses with your feelings on whatever topic we brought up. But make it be a dialog and not just an interrogation, then I will be interested enough to have a conversation. If the conversation lulls ask me a question and again build on my answer. Suggest we have a drink or snack, talk about my selection, bring up a personal anecdote that our situation reminds you. Anyway that may not be the perfect way to have a conversation, but it works for me. Then again I’m only 15 and not an expert.

aireens said 2 years, 2 months ago:

this might be weird but if youre motivated to change you should either read or watch (or both) about socializing// making friends
maybe ask yourself what makes you feel unmotivated or become ‘boring’ as a friend, what you answer with that is where you should start
or maybe you could analyze your friends. see if they are the type of friends you wanna hang out or its time to make changes in your life

this is obviously not a solid advice but hope it helps a little. you can pm me if you just wanna talk about it.

mariko said 2 years, 1 month ago:

It is not your problem, everyone has their own path and some people want “fun” instead of a real friend who may be slightly more shy and not as good with socializing. But that’s perfectly ok, it’s just their choise, nothing wrong with you.
The only thing I would point out is that if you think you’re boring people will feel it.
You see,we as humans feel the tension and vibes from other people. So if you send that vibe of being awkward and feeling like “damn I’m annoying this person doesn’t want to talk to me”, they’ll feel it and they’ll want to leave.
But other than that ,trust me, nothing’s wrong with you.
And if you ever need a friend I’m right here, feel free to PM me if you need someone to talk to @viejosalse