Valeska said 5 years, 8 months ago:

There could be a lot of reasons. I jog at the park a lot, but some days I don’t go because it is more convenient to use the treadmill. As a girl too, sometimes like say Friday, it’s pretty limited with how many people go there, so for safety I avoid going then, or late hours. Or maybe she feels nervous, and decided to do some new work outs last week so when she sees you again she can stop walking and chat with you when you do approach her ;) . Go in strong! Make her day.

You kissed your friend in high school? That’s so sweet! I find it sweeter that you kept an eye out to ensure she wouldn’t be hurt. I don’t know what to say about you two, but your family and friends got to try harder. Like lock you both in a room or something. I don’t know you all that well though, perhaps they are letting you two miss each other. It does sound like you miss her Ethan. You said as well, you remember the conversations vividly. Who does that? Only when a person is very dear to us that is the case. So look, I know she was wrong about the tickets. I think she owes you an apology and should try harder, but that being said, how would you like her to try? If she knows you that well, she probably knows you can be very passionate and you seem to have a tad bit of a rage haha. :P

EthanHunter said 5 years, 8 months ago:

Ah, you got it! I will make her day! This is for all girls out there who would like a guy to approach her! THIS IS FOR ALL OF YOU!!!

Well, our parents have argued with both of us I am aware. I overheard them talking before, and they sort of asked each other what is going on with us. They have some interesting views on the matter, most popular they believe it has something to do with feelings for each other. So they are probably just butting out for a bit.

How would I like her to try? I guess I didn’t consider that. I guess, I wish she would come see me. What transpired with us happened over the phone. I thought some courtesy would be to come over and talk to me you know? I won’t deny it, I do have a bit of a temper, like I know I did snap at her on the phone badly, but it was warranted!

Okay, if she did see me before the final or shortly after, things probably would not have gone well, but I mean, if she tries now I might be in a better place. I think she owes me that at least. Not tricking me to see her, and obviously telling everyone how I would react. What is that to prove?

Thanks for the response guys. I will give her a chance.

EthanHunter said 5 years, 8 months ago:

UGH! Another day no sighting…

This is seriously the Universe saying that I am a loser and I need to up my game! NEXT TIME I SEE HER… IT’S HAPPENING!!!

One question, I’ve realized that Valentine’s Day is on Saturday, will it be awkward if I approach her before? Like, won’t she think I am just desperate for a Valentine or something? Like, maybe I should hold off until after the day?

Silent Radiance said 5 years, 8 months ago:

I’m happy that you’re willing to give her another chance and talk to her. You two seem to share so much together and be such great friends, it would really suck for that to be taken away.

It sucks she’s not there, we’re only talking about a few days so she might have something. Don’t worry about the valentine’s day thing, it’s not really a big deal. If you’re really smooth, you can make something out of that, but I’d say just stay safe and keep it simple :P .

Valeska said 5 years, 8 months ago:

We cannot understand why people react in certain ways, but yes, your friend owes you that, but perhaps she just doesn’t know how to deal with the situation and wants other people around just so you guys won’t lose your cool? Are you going to reach out to her though?

Most people who work out avidly, when they miss days usually try to settle for three days. There is a possibility she will be there Wed-Friday ;) . I think though Ethan, the best thing for you to do is relax and have no expectations. You will only return deflated if she isn’t there. Maybe she went earlier, perhaps, later. Maybe, she has some stuff going on and isn’t getting time. So you just need to not go looking for her. Before you went looking for her, you did see her often.

Regarding the Valentine’s issue, don’t worry so much! Still over thinking! Chances are, if she is thinking about Valentine’s day approaching, you will surely make her day! Otherwise, don’t worry about the future, the past… focus on the present! If it works out, well who knows, you got yourself a date for Valentine’s day. Don’t think too much about it though, it really isn’t a major day. Meet her and let it build. Don’t rush, don’t be too slow, just sit back and enjoy :)

EthanHunter said 5 years, 8 months ago:

Thanks for the response guys. Yeah, I am doing my best to keep positive and to take it easy. I must say, I find myself a bit upset. I didn’t see her all week. I think I did see her leaving when I arrived yesterday but I can’t be sure.

So, excluding that, there was another incident last night that left me a bit glum. I met with a friend last night at the movies. In the line, there were two girls behind us, and I overheard that their movie was starting in two minutes. So I offered them our spot, they didn’t take it, but it lead to a conversation that eventually lead to them joining us for our movie instead. So, we had fun and unfortunately they both had boyfriends. Regardless, we hung out and got some coffee after, my friend had to leave as the hospital called him in. I made two friends yes, which is always good. Girls at that, so there is that bit of excitement on my part. I enjoy texting and getting to know them. That is just fine, but it is somewhat bittersweet because I really liked them, especially the one that I talked to a lot more. She is very friendly, we have a lot of similar interests. She was wearing a chain with the one ring from Lord of the Rings… AND GUESS WHAT? So was I! So like, yeah, excited but man…

Valeska said 5 years, 8 months ago:

Ethan, don’t fret! Be super excited. I am sure these girls are excited to have met you which is why they did exchange contact. That should also motivate you to up the game with Park Girl. It sucks by the way that she was a no show, but don’t worry my friend, she will, and when she does you will be ready!

Additionally, not to be one of those people, and not to say that you should go in with expectations, but boyfriends doesn’t mean anything. You can be friends, and who knows, if somewhere down the line she feels different then… but hey, respect her relationship though.

That being said, you sound like one of my friends. I am sending you a PM. I also have the one ring of power, but I wear it on my index finger!

Silent Radiance said 5 years, 8 months ago:

You’re on a roll, Ethan. You’re feeling more pumped about park girl, you and your friend seem to at least be slowly getting over your problems (at least you’re willing to talk), you made two new good friends, and Valeska :P . You should be happy! Don’t worry about relationships. If it works out and you meet the right person, eventually it’ll work out and happen naturally. Like Valeska said, just respect the one she’s in and continue to be friends.

Valeska said 5 years, 8 months ago:

Yeah! You should totally be happy you made friends with Valeska! Haha.

I was right though Silent, we do know each other. Small world eh? Yet, I never run into Randy Orton lol.

Danyell said 5 years, 8 months ago:

Okay, first off, I have to say that as far as the whole football thing goes, I would have done the exact same thing, and I don’t think you were in the wrong at all (and it’s not just because I’ma Bayern fan myself :P ). If you were, I would only accept that it was MAYBE because you didn’t let her explain herself.

The reason I agree, is because I had a 22 year friendship with someone who treated me similarly to the way this girl treated you. I could be wrong, but I’m assuming that while that was the first ‘hugely friendship altering and world shattering’ argument you guys had, I doubt it was the first time she acted shady. Am I correct? I only ask, because the friend I was talking about used to manipulate me, and act just really shady in general, but I never really noticed it because to ME, he was my BEST friend, like I would literally have taken a bullet for him, and we had been best friends since we were 4. So I never really thought he would do that to me, because I assumed he felt the same about me as I did about him. It wasn’t until recently that we had our friendship-ending fight, and it wasn’t until after we stopped talking and had animosity towards one another, that I could see clearly the way he treated me. He used me because I was so nice and generous and would literally give him my last $5 if I had it, and just by reading this thread, it seems like you’re the same kind of person. I’m not saying I don’t have outbursts and anger issues, because I definitely do, but that doesn’t make me calling him out on his shit wrong, and it doesn’t make it an overreaction. I could be 1000% here, and if I am, my bad. But that’s just my opinion and experience.

I also must say, that throughout our lives as friends, we had had plenty of fights where we didn’t talk for months, and we were always able to get over them, but unfortunately after this last fight, it was like something broke between us. We actually made up a few weeks ago and started hanging out again, but after less than a week, I stopped talking to him for good. He borrowed money from me, and decided not to pay me back. Now, you may think it’s silly to end a 22 year friendship over just that, and it would be, if that were the only issue. However, it was more me really being able to see how he treated me from my new perspective, and not wanting to put up with that anymore. Sure, we have had great times, and I will always think of him, but I just cant be around someone who isn’t healthy for me. The moral of this paragraph is: If you start talking again, be aware that it’s possible that things may not work out. Just be on guard.

NOW, as far as Park Girl, I know everyone has given you lots of great advice already, but when I first read it, I just had a thought, that you should practice asking women out. I know you said you were already going to, but my idea was that you should go up to one woman every day (whether you know her or not) and just ask her out. That way, if for some crazy reason she says no, you will at least know what it feels like for someone to say no so if Park Girl has a BF or something, and says no it wont be devastating, and if/when they say yes, you’ll have a date!!

Sorry if you disagree with anything I said, and I’m sorry if I may have come across negative as far as the friend thing went.

EthanHunter said 5 years, 8 months ago:

Haha Valeska! Well I met Randy Orton at Wrestlemania. Twice haha. So small World haha.

Danyelle, I totally appreciate your response and definitely there is nothing wrong with coming across negative. I actually got a bit angry that some were insinuating she did nothing wrong. As far as your response goes, mia san mia! ;) Nice to meet a fellow Bavarian. OBVIOUSLY YOU WILL UNDERSTAND WHERE I AM COMING FROM!

I did let her explain herself, but she didn’t do a very good job. No more words were needed because I knew where she stood.

As for her being shady, well, honestly she never was, at least not from what I can think about. I would say though that I feel like I made more grand gestures with her than she ever did for me.

It isn’t silly on your end, and I do think as you said, we need to separate ourselves from that negativity. Like, I have a really close cousin, but I avoid him simply because of his Narcissistic ways, and that bond is broken. I will definitely be aware of that. I actually have not spoken to her, because I am just not in a place where I want to reach out to her. I think she can reach out to me, and if she does, I will give her a chance. Otherwise, I doubt I will try and you are right. Who is to say she won’t do that again. As far as I am concerned, the next time I don’t care what she can afford. I am buying the damn ticket!

I do want to say that I am sorry about your friendship, but it does seem like you needed to get away. Despite how it may seem, only you know how you feel and what you need to do. So in a sense, I am happy for you. My friend well, maybe I need to reflect on it some more and I will uncover what I must have overlooked.

As for practicing with girls, hold up. Before going into that. I didn’t meet Park Girl yet, this week my country had Carnival. So looking to next week now!

As for asking girls out, is that wise? I mean, what if I don’t feel a connection or anything? I wouldn’t like to hurt a girl’s feelings too. You know? Guy asked me out, then doesn’t progress? I guess though I see the point, and maybe something can develop if I do date them and it goes well.

I asked out that girl by the way, who I met. Not a date of course, but you know friendly as she is taken. Well, she seems to like the idea. We are going to the movies later. I feel a bit confident that she said yes and that she has never once called me friend, or found it fit to specify we are going out as friends, so that too. So yeah, I feel good in a way, and hope I can carry that positive feeling with me to the park next week!

EthanHunter said 5 years, 8 months ago:

Shoot me… shoot me now.

So I went to the park today, with my sister and mom. Maybe she has started going earlier, because as we were heading to track, I saw her coming… but she was on the far end, so I slid over as best as I could, and then… decided it would look weird so held back. Then she looked up and saw me and I have no idea what expression was on my face but she looked slightly confused and I smiled hastily. She had turned away and then turned back, smiled. I said “evening.” and she responded good evening, but I didn’t stop… so she kept walking. :_( O… M…. G… What the hell happened. I should have stopped when she looked at me.. Geez. This is never going to happen. Makes no sense. I may never see her again and each time I do I will keep freezing. This is so damn frustrating.

Valeska said 5 years, 8 months ago:

*Loads gun.

ETHAN! That’s so cute though lol. Do not fret, the fact that she made the effort to smile back at you signals some interest. Maybe she has been going earlier to match your time perhaps? Maybe she gave up all hope and then when she saw you, had that confused expression because she was recognizing you and wondering if it was in fact you, the guy from two weeks ago :) .

So that exchange should be positive. DO IT!

How did it go yesterday though? You didn’t post anything so I take it that was good news?

EthanHunter said 5 years, 8 months ago:

Hey Val, well I was wondering if my posts would be considered as spamming as nobody else replied lol.

I didn’t see her Tuesday. I went a tad earlier, didn’t see her. I chilled a bit but no luck. Today, I was jogging and this girl at walking pace overtook me -THE SHAME- I immediately recognized her. I tried to follow but, yeah, let’s not get into that. She was like so far ahead. Anyways, long story short, I couldn’t catch her, because when she made that lap she went into her jog. I was with my family at that, so they were ready after their laps else I probably would have waited to fail in the parking lot again.

I feel like it is becoming a strain on my ability to enjoy my work out. Now when I go, I am kind of searching for her and then when I screw up or don’t see her, I get back feeling down a bit. I am going to just stop. If it is meant to be, I will meet her. I guess, I can’t do anything here about it. I should have shouted at her? “HEY!” but then, shouldn’t she have recognized me? In which case, if she didn’t say hello then maybe she isn’t interested. I just don’t think I am going to make this happen, so might as well put it to rest.

Valeska said 5 years, 8 months ago:

I think you’re doing the right thing. Especially if it causes you to feel depressed. You just need to keep positive though. I would recommend just going and doing your thing, but if you do see her, then think about her and approach. Don’t give up on her though.

We cannot say why she didn’t say hi. She looks into her work out, you once said, so maybe she was in her zone and didn’t notice you from behind? Maybe she did and didn’t want to disrupt you? We can’t know for sure, but hey, just relax and you know what, there are other girls out there. Don’t be dejected, but don’t give up!