md235 said 7 years, 6 months ago:

(Note: I wrote this when I was feeling frustrated and angry, so if any of this offends you, I apologize.)

I know people say that having any job is better than no job, but I strongly disagree.
I work at Walmart and everyday I’m there, I want to kill myself. I have a BA (albeit in a useless major), but I work as a cashier.

I don’t make enough to move out, so I’m stuck living at home.

At least if I didn’t have a job, I’d have all the time in the world to find a decent one that pays well and to work on my hard skills (programming and putting my code up on GitHub), but because I’m working, my time is limited and I can’t apply to as many jobs as I would like. And worse, when I did get an interview a few weeks ago, I was told I wasn’t confident enough.

And I know that having a gap on your resume is bad, but I think working at a minimum wage job for so long when you have a degree can look bad too.

I’m treated like crap on a daily basis, and this in turn effects my self esteem and confidence. It doesn’t help that I look young for my age (I’m 26). Everyone treats me like a dumb teenager, despite the fact that I’m a college educated adult.

I have needs and wants that I want to fulfill, but never can because this job doesn’t afford me to, and no one wants to hire me. I want/need:

* Friends

* To get laid (still a virgin)

* To get proper therapy

* To move out

* To join a gym

* To get a livable wage

* To move to a big city

I was going to teach English in Japan (Note: I’ve lived in Japan before), but I can’t meet many of the needs above if I do. I know if I go, my speaking will improve, but making friends where I am now is hard enough; Japanese people aren’t exactly the most open.

Getting laid might be the easiest on my list, but it still could be a problem. Being in a small town, girls might not be as open about being with a foreigner. Even if they do, remember, Japanese people aren’t exactly the most open.

Therapy will be out of the question. Even if I get past the language barrier, Japan doesn’t have a high regard for mental health. I know that I absolutely need to see a therapist.

Moving out is the only thing on this list that will 100% happen if I go to Japan.

I also want to get back into working out, but Japanese people aren’t too big with lifting. Especially since I’ll be in a small town, finding a proper gym may be impossible.

I also won’t be making a good wage and might be trapped in the country (my employer even said they won’t provide a ticket when I complete my contract).

Finally, I want to live in a big city, but I’ll be living in a small town with no nightlife or foreign community.

I would like to live in Japan again, but my life is in such shambles that I think it would cause more problems. And if i decide not to go, it could affect my future employment options in the country.

Worst part is, I leave next month, so I won’t be able to solve half of this.

But of course, if I don’t go, I’ll be stuck working my dead end job with little opportunities to work anywhere else.

Deleted User said 7 years, 6 months ago:

Everyone should live his life avoiding toxic environments and people. You don’t like that job, it makes you feel bad? Then f*ck it dude, leave it. People manage to live up without money. It is society that made us feel bad about having no job, so we feel bad either when we’re working or when we’re just sitting home. I don’t mean anything bad, but your goals are pretty easy to fulfill. Especially finding friends, getting laid and going to the gym. You won’t have a gym there? Buy yourself a bar or find one. Do pushups. No, you don’t need barbells, even if it’s your preference, it’s mostly an excuse. Hardest thing to do is going to Japan and if you are ready to do it, you’re brave and there won’t be anything to bother you. If you can deal with going there, you will surely deal with some job interview. Your gap in the resume doesn’t matter; what matters is that you’ve worked before and you started from the bottom. Experience is what people look for. Dig your courage out and do what you want to do.

md235 said 7 years, 6 months ago:

I definitely agree that our culture puts too much of an emphasis on working even if it’s not any good for you. Having said that, I don’t know how people can survive without some kind of money. If you know how, let me know, because I’d be interested.

If I quit my job, I’d have to move out because I know my parents wouldn’t want me around if I’m not working. Even if I was doing things to improve my chances of finding better work.

I also thought about doing a work exchange at a hostel, but unfortunately, it seems like they don’t even do that anymore. At least it would have gave me a place to stay while I get my feet on the ground.

The thing about moving to Japan is that I feel like my life is in such shambles that moving there wouldn’t do me any good. If I can barely socialize in my native language in my home country, how will I do that in a language I have yet to master. I just feel like I need to get my shit together here before I even think of moving to a foreign country where I’d be dealing with new problems alongside my old ones.

The only problem is that if I don’t go, I may not ever be able to get a work visa. It’s a shitty situation all around.

Aerith said 7 years, 5 months ago:

Hi MD!

I read your post and I’m hoping I’ll be able to help you out a little.

First of all, you are absolutely right. It’s not necessarily better to have a job than no job; Especially when the job you are in makes you feel down on yourself. I worked at a job that made me feel so bad I got physically and mentally sick. Leaving was the best decision I ever made. I have heard that Wal-Mart plans to increase their wages for all employees soon ($11/hour I think I heard), but it’s not all about the money. I think you should do what you feel is right for yourself. If you are looking really hard for a job, do you think it’s possible your parents can overlook the fact that you are jobless?

From what I understand about the Japanese culture: you are correct when you say a lot of the people who live there aren’t as open. It’s harder to have acquaintances and become close friends. But the good thing about that is the relationships that are made there seem to be much closer and more loyal, so when you do make friends it’s likely you’ll have them for life. Harder to make but harder to break. :)

As for “getting laid”, there seem to be a lot of Japanese women who are intrigued by foreign men! I had an interest in living in Japan in the past and I was reading forum posts on a website that foreign men and women posted about their experiences in Japan. For a lot of the men there, they found their dating experience easier there than in America. While I cannot guarantee that will be your experience, I’m honestly just stating what I have heard.

Regarding therapy, finding GOOD therapy is a bit of a challenge no matter where you live. I do think it is possible though, even in Japan. It may be a bit harder but if you listen to your instincts about whether they are providing good therapy to you or are just in it for the money/don’t care you should be able to weed out the bad ones.

Who says you need a gym to work out? :) You can buy dumbbells, a yoga mat, or fitness DVDs for your own home. Nothing beats exercising in the comfort of your own home! Plus, it’s likely more cost effective to buy your own or use what you have than to have a gym membership. For cardio there is always jump-roping, running in place, or jogging around your neighborhood.

I’m not sure if this helps you out, but I do hope you find your way out of these issues that are bothering you. Figuring out where you “should be” in this world is a challenging thing huh? :)

I wish you luck. Please keep us posted with how everything is going and with what options you choose!