I’m not good with writing or talking about myself. I keep thinking about what people are going to think about me, how they are going to look at me after I tell them, so I just do not talk. I only time I’ve tried therapy, my therapist looked at me with pity in her eyes when I told her, so I never came back. So I will try vent here. I moved to a new house when I was 5 years old, We moved next to my mom’s best friend house. He had a 60-something year old uncle, that lived with him. This uncle was my favorite person on earth, cause he used to give candies and he played with me all the time, When I was about seven he started to say strange things about how pretty I am and how sweet I was. Then a few months later he started to touch me. I didn’t know what he was doing. I was just another child play to me. It stopped when I was about 10 years old, when i realize that what was happening was wrong, he said “you like what is going on you are a little bitch” so i stopped to talk to him, to go to his house to play,. He came and said to my mother that I was rude to him, said that I was a arrogant child, so she argue with me, she told me to be polite to him, And I could not tell her, I was afraid that what happened was my fault, I was afraid that she would discover that I am what he said i was. So I just tried not to think about what happened to much, he moved, and I tried do forget. But now he is back living in the house next to mine.
My Father always was very violent, 4 months ago, my little sister and he were arguing about something stupid, he tried to punch her and I interfered, so he threw my computer against me, and I get mad and started saying bad things to him and he tried to hang me, when he let go I went after him saying more bad things, then he pulled my hair and dragged me, after controlling himself he just left the house. My mom said she were going to lose her husband because of me, and we were a happy family until I lose my mind. She said that all of that was my fault. Some days later he returned No one talked about what happened, it’s like it never happened. He never hit me again. But I can’t forget, or forgive.
You are not at fault Aiya, the guy who was touching you had no right to do that to you at all hun, you were a victim of a horrible crime hun, please tell someone about what he did to you, he shouldn’t be allowed to get away with it, I’m so sorry that your father abused you, he shouldn’t hit you or your sister, your mother shouldn’t blame you at all, it’s your father who was violent towards you and your mother should sympathise with you, you are a loving sister Aiya, I admire that you tried to protect her, I’m always here hun if you ever need someone, feel free to message me anytime, my inbox is always open (hugs)
What happened wasn’t your fault in any way at all. Often when things like this happen it’s easy to feel like the blame lies with you, but it absolutely doesn’t. You’re not what that person says you are, you’re a lot better than that even if it takes you a while to believe that. It’s a good idea to tell someone about this, it doesn’t have to be in your family if you feel uncomfortable with them and they seem to have been unsupportive of you, possibly another adult you feel able to trust but you shouldn’t have to live in fear. You’re not to blame for the marriage not working – your father’s violence was, and you’re a loving sister to care for her safety like that. I know how hard it is to move on from these kind of things – forgetting is impossible, and forgiving is your choice whether you do or don’t but that’s your choice, whatever you feel is better for you. What happened to you was completely wrong and you aren’t to blame for any of it.
That man abused you, a child, who did not want any part in what was happening. You are not to blame. He is a monster.
Your father is a dangerous man who shouldn’t be anywhere near you or your sister. I wish you mum could see that he is a terrible person to be in your life, I can’t understand why she would ever dare blame you for his actions. That’s so fucked up. I’m sorry you live in such a toxic environment, if I can help you in any way, even just to be an ear for you, please let me know.
Thank you for posting this, I hope this helps you open up more in the future if it makes you feel better. You’re definitely not at fault for what your mom’s best friend’s uncle did. As a child you were confused and that’s understandable. It’s easy to trust when you’re small because you have little reason to doubt the people around you. Usually people have to learn of all of the bad things growing up, it’s a sad thought.
Your father sounds very abusive, those are extremely physical things he does to you. I wonder if he does similar things to your mother too, usually those who experience abuse can be protective of the abuser (or clingy). That’s just a trend I know of though, I’m not making any assumptions on your end I promise that. It’s a personality problem that’s all on him and not you, please don’t blame yourself. You are not the one who made him that way. Your family shouldn’t be making it seem like that. You did the right thing to protect your sister.
If you need to vent to someone, you can always PM me. It might help to get some things off your chest and I hope you can become more comfortable doing so because that’s what this site is for. Thank you for typing this up.
Thanks you all for your time and words.
Well, I really compliment all the replies here, but I personally suggest you to look forward. Things aren’t the same now as the times back. This time, everything lies in your enlightened mind and control. I know things have not been good in past, but it is past now lets talk about the future. That guy will have no dare to do any heinous things now, even if he thinks, I am sure that you are strong and smart enough to teach him a lesson.
Coming to your family, well we don’t get a choice for pick a family, but that’s life, with time we learn and lately start loving the imperfections of our family, that’s what your mom maybe going through. I know there is a lot of aggression in your dad, but still there is something that keeps you all together, there may be or had been situations for him too and even for your mother as well. So I suggest you to hope positive and see the good picture in future.
A wise man taught me a deep lesson back, he said that we humans are meant to live both the phase of life, the good phase or the desired stage , or the bad / struggling phase, I would call it a Learning phase. And it’s on fate that which one we experience first, well if we had a rough start in life, then there are definitely good days to follow later, so I think this is one reason to move on in hope of better future.
So I personally believe that a great phase awaits ahead for people like us, yes even me, who are struggling through the rough road first, but I am sure things are better ahead, just believe it.
And you know it well how has those days helped in leading on academic and athletic front too. You are much smarter and stronger person now. And also, you will now be a better parent as well as a person in future.
Congratulations!! And I am sure that they are less thorns and more roses ahead in your life.