Garam said 9 years, 9 months ago:

Male: 18

Well my life in short parts first i guess
I live in nowhere so i cant really do anything here cause i got no friends around and littlerly kinda got NO friends at all. lifes went to online and i met an nice girl that is wierd and strange and got kinda good bit of energi mostly. but… she is my bestfriend and i like her and she know that. she liked me once but only wants to be friends…

I like helping people with what i can help with. and yeah my life kinda gets more and more sad as in i never kissed a girl or even got close to that. alot of problems stack up and it gets me depressed and i cant do self-harm because i fear it to much,but i can hit myself if it just gets to much.
I tried finding help some spots so i started to keep it for myself and sleep the pain away days after days. suicide have been an option but yeah i think people know what i mean.
I have tried on here but wasn’t much usefull in the chat since i added one on skype and sayed i looked kinda gay(didn’t help at all since im strait) and an guy kept saying i should try men insteard of girls and he would be ready if i wanted to…

People may ask “hey why havnt you suicided yet? what keeps you going on”
Well that girl i like i cant just stop liking her.
And, I keep thinking there must be an meaning with I’m carrying around with so much pain and sorrow, i might even have cancer(most of my mothers family had it) and be mental but, then atleast i carry it so an other person dont have to.

But this girl kinda means everything even though she dont like me back as i like her.
i cant just leave her… since im alone then, all alone… which is worse

most help i got didnt help.. so where i stand things just get worse

Valeska said 9 years, 8 months ago:

Hi there,

I am sorry that your life is as difficult as it is. You need to find and hold on to any positive aspects you can find. For instance, she may not have liked you the same way you did, but she chose to be friends. Sometimes a friend is so dear to us you know? It beats all the complications with relationships, and well she isn’t avoiding you either. So be grateful for that, and accept being her friend else that could push her away. I know you also have the desire to kiss a girl, and probably have that companionship, but sometimes it is not always easy, and it doesn’t make you any strange. In fact, I find it sweet, and you know to keep a good mentality you have to tell yourself that you are waiting for the right girl to come along .

Never mind what those jerks told you! You are a good person. You have strength. You put a negative spin on it by saying you feared self harm, but maybe on another spin, it’s just that you know you’re strong enough to handle what you’re going through. Keep a goal in mind to keep striving at getting out of your slump. Do not give into that depression, and do not try self harm. You have it in you to really do a lot. You like helping people, that is very admirable, and I am sure people will be most appreciating of it, and whoever doesn’t that is their fault!

As for the girl, I know it is really hard to accept friendship, but as a friend you need to respect her decision. Maybe you might require a bit of space to really accept that. That does not involve cutting out all communications with her, but simply spend a little less time than usual just for a bit.