Valeska said 9 years, 8 months ago:
I am sorry that your life is as difficult as it is. You need to find and hold on to any positive aspects you can find. For instance, she may not have liked you the same way you did, but she chose to be friends. Sometimes a friend is so dear to us you know? It beats all the complications with relationships, and well she isn’t avoiding you either. So be grateful for that, and accept being her friend else that could push her away. I know you also have the desire to kiss a girl, and probably have that companionship, but sometimes it is not always easy, and it doesn’t make you any strange. In fact, I find it sweet, and you know to keep a good mentality you have to tell yourself that you are waiting for the right girl to come along .
Never mind what those jerks told you! You are a good person. You have strength. You put a negative spin on it by saying you feared self harm, but maybe on another spin, it’s just that you know you’re strong enough to handle what you’re going through. Keep a goal in mind to keep striving at getting out of your slump. Do not give into that depression, and do not try self harm. You have it in you to really do a lot. You like helping people, that is very admirable, and I am sure people will be most appreciating of it, and whoever doesn’t that is their fault!
As for the girl, I know it is really hard to accept friendship, but as a friend you need to respect her decision. Maybe you might require a bit of space to really accept that. That does not involve cutting out all communications with her, but simply spend a little less time than usual just for a bit.