swollenostrich said 9 years, 9 months ago:

I dont feel good about myself.. Any confidence I ever get is very short term. Im good at several things but that doesnt boost me up. This lack of confidence is stressing me out more cause i dont have the balls to talk to females and it makes me a weird person. Any tips? im 19 male btw

swollenostrich said 9 years, 9 months ago:

id say lack of females and just knowing im shy is the main source of lack of confidence. And my mom babying me still lol

TurtleGirl20 said 9 years, 9 months ago:

I know exactly what you mean! That’s 100 percent me, except I’m 19 female! And I experience all of what you say, I have never dated because I am so shy. I get so shy because I am fat, and I fear people judge me all the time for my weight. I can totally relate. Unlinke the comment above (which I am not being mean because every comment is worth writing about and expressing how you feel) but I can’t do that and just put myself out there. That is just too hard for me to do, but I am really glad that it helped some people out with their issues that is awesome to me. I just keep telling myself that I wil be lonely and alone for a long time, because that is how I am supposed to feel, I don’t really have a way to fix it. Lately I have become excessively jealous of other people and their relationships and I am unsure why. Maybe it is because I just want to feel wanted, and loved, I need that compassion from someone else. But on the other hand I am so scared that things won’t work out and they will leave me, because i am not the prettiest or the best person in the world. i am nice and have a great personality but many people look at the outside of a person too much. and quite frankly someone leaving me would kill me, because i have a tendency to grow attached to people really fast. i am not used to people being around me so i never want to lose them. But it is fine because no one has ever liked me or wanted to date, maybe it is because I rarely leave my house, Blah therapy is my way to communicate to the outside world. The comment above was great, maybe you could try that, but I am not going to try it, but that doesn’t make it wrong. I am not trying to put down anyone’s opinion because it is helpful. : ) I just had to put my views out too, I always have a lot to say, everyone has a right to their views and that is what makes this site great, because no one judges.

TurtleGirl20 said 9 years, 9 months ago:

I think it is hard for me to overcome it all a lone and by myself, I always am very lonely. It isn’t easy at all for me to just push myself out there. And I know, how will we ever date if we don’t go anywhere but it is so difficult. Like I mentioned earlier I am fat or so I think I am, and I feel people want to judge so that is my issue. And maybe you are afraid people will judge you too! I don’t know, I always used to feel so alone with this but now I realize I am not. It is so difficult and life is very hard but nothing is ever easy, especially not for me. And this jealousy is really killing me too, I mean, I’m not picky all I want is a guy who will love me for me. : D I don’t think that is too much!

TurtleGirl20 said 9 years, 9 months ago:

I know, I completely understand that but in the back of my mind i can’t help but think that I’m a terrible person. It really has affected my whole life, it is such a challenge for me. I have one online friend and she is great but sometimes you just want a bf or a best friend you can turn to, I’m sick of this jealousy. Maybe it is my turn, but I’m so afraid of it all. Life is so hard. But thank you for saying that.

YouBeTheAnchorIllBeTheWings said 9 years, 9 months ago:

You don’t seem like a terrible person at all, you actually seem like a pretty great person. You just gotta work on believing that you are, in whatever way works for you. For me that was just taking it head on. Find what works for you.

YouBeTheAnchorIllBeTheWings said 9 years, 9 months ago:

Well it’s great that you’re aware that you’re an awesome person. Obviously you hate the shyness, so change it, don’t let it control you anymore. Its gonna be difficult, there will be awkward moments and lots of not knowing what to say but if you’re determined to get over the shyness then you will.

Deleted User said 9 years, 9 months ago:

If a person has been hurt in the past they become very sensitive and are continually trying to protect themselves from getting hurt more. This causes a person to take themselves and others too seriously. I know this from experience. The more you focus on goals and others the more the shyness will go away as you are not fearing rejection or trying to get someone from the interaction. There are always going to be rude people, insensitive, nice, kind, thoughtful etc.. people around. It’s all about what you choose to focus on. The only way to learn to get along well with others and be more comfortable in your skin so that people see your good qualities and like you for being you is to practice.. You’ll make mistakes.. But make mental notes on what works and what doesn’t. It’s a long road but achievable. Have a passion in life, goals, and dreams that your strive for each day.. you’ll stop focusing on yourself so much and the insecurity will start to go away.