mariko said 6 years, 4 months ago:

So.. I have genuinly the most dismotivating family you could ever meet…
I’ve been writing poetry since I was 9, many teachers kept saying how talented I was along the years.
Now at 22 I can’t write or even draw (which I’ve been attempting to) cause everytime I enjoy these activities (or others) , my parents and even sister bring me down. They critize to the bone. Not talking constructive criticism, talking in a very rude and dismotivational way. And this sends my anxiety off the roof. My hobbies are what challenge me mentallity and keep me sane and my anxiety “ok” within the possibilities. But I lose control since they’re such bullies about these things.
And doesn’t help I always seek their aproval. My sister’s art is always well received and I’m always the boring one and they don’t take me seriously.
So does anyone have advice? Cause this is making my anxiety so bad I’ve been taking 1 to 2 strong anxiety pills everyday and anti- anxiety teas. Please help.

Deleted User said 6 years, 4 months ago:

@marikofujimoto Ever considered joining a group for sharing your creative works? You might have some nearby, such as writing groups in libraries, or you can join one online. It might not help with your mother and sister, but it can be another way for you to receive feedback outside of those two.

Crushing one’s confidence like that can definitely affect creativity and I’m sorry to hear it’s meddling with your art. Fundamentally, it should be about how you want to express yourself and surface your inner feelings. Repressing that can be quite powerful in causing distress because you’re then making someone doubt something so personal.

Do you think there is some way of communicating how their comments make you feel, outside of what you’ve already tried? As I’m sure you know, you can’t always control people’s actions, sometimes people will just be rude. Your artistic expression is more important than that, I’m glad that it hasn’t made you quit because that would be truly unfortunate.

mariko said 6 years, 4 months ago:

@silent-radiance I’ve tried over the years telling them… but sadly me and my sister have this “image” to my parents. To them I’m the smart one, since my grades are all A or A+ and I’m a polyglot. So they don’t exactly take my art into consideration, even though many teachers complimented my writing and I believe my drawings aren’t that bad for a begginer.
And my sister has the “artist” image. She’s even going to an art school. I wish her the best but is absolutly frustrating she’s the only one seen as “fun” and creative. And I’m the one who has to have a “briliant career”.
They constantly compare me and my sister’s art, which is ridiculous since we are 2 different artists, 2 different people… and when they do compare they’re beyond rude and genuinly bully.

About the online thing , honestly I’ve done that before in writing, however at the time many people found my blog… and was a bad experience.
In drawing, I have a deviantart account but I’m terrified of posting my begginer drawings..
But I’ll give it a shot. Doesn’t hurt to try. Maybe will be like a documented journey..

Either way thanks for reading and taking time to reply to me. It really helps :)

Red Sheep said 5 years, 11 months ago:

@marikofujimoto I might be late, but I wanted to leave a message for you. I want to say that I completely understand your position, and I feel for you.
My parents are just the same, they keep comparing my and my brothers to each other, and have this “image” of us. I am the “stupid” one, of course, so in the past years, I tried to please them, studying well, taking good grades, did everything to get praised, and despite me being better at studying, I wasn’t satisfied at all. So I suggest you: don’t bother.
Don’t try to please them, don’t try to make yourself look good in that specific field, parents and family members love us, but they also are the ones that without knowing hurt us the most. So I suggest you to just do whatever you like to do, and go on with it. Ignore them, don’t even think to compete with your sister, as you said, she is she, and you are you, and however good she might be, she will never be like you in any way, your style is yours, and I’m certain your art is awesome. You enjoy it, you like it, put your anxiety in it and crush it. Parents never change, whatever you do, you will always carry that label they gave you, but you’re not there to try and change their mind, your life is yours, not their, you know who you are, what you like, and how good you are. Others know or will know as well, so keep going, and don’t stop!

mariko said 5 years, 11 months ago:

@jeles thank you so much for the lovely message.
I’m so sorry you’re also compared to your brother, comparing siblings is honestly the worst!!

Also don’t worry for the late reply! Better late than ever, how people usually say :)