sylph-dancer said 7 years, 5 months ago:
I’ve been going through this for a while. Since I’ve had social anxiety for the past 14 years, I’ve had the habit of pulling away from my friends out of the (imagined, at first) perception that they had stopped liking me or that I was annoying them. Now, I no longer have any friends. It feels as if they grew tired or stopped caring enough to try to talk to me and spend time with me.
I do not have someone to ‘tease me and laugh at me’, or whatever it is people say best friends do, as most people treat me politely and distantly. I can sit with a group of people and they will discuss ‘group’ plans but never include me on them, and can get up and leave without anyone noticing.
It isn’t that people dislike me–it feel more like, ‘people like me but not enough to ask me to spend time with them’. I can go up to many people and smile and say hello, hold as long a conversation as I can (about 10 seconds), but no one will say a word to me all day if I do not. It’s … lonely. But with my social anxiety, it becomes very frightening and stressful to make friends and commit to friendships. To me, it feels like an endless cycle.
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