Red Sheep said 4 years, 3 months ago:

Let’s say that since a few years I’ve became a nervous person when I feel stressed up. Like, a lot stressed up. This happens when I’m having exams for university, or it’s been more than a week that there are problems at home with my family. So, when I have this kind of “nervous period”, I tend to answer in a harsh way to friends and family, things that I regret later on and I ask for an apology for having that behavior. Nothing much though, although I felt nervous and stressed up, it affects my emotions and my behavior, and as I said, more than anything I feel nervous.

But yesterday something felt.. different. I was feeling lonely, and I got nervous with a friend of mine because he wasn’t by my side making me feel less lonely. What made me feel worried is that instead of just feeling nervous, talking to myself or walking nervously in my room, or, you know, trying to vent to make me feel better, I felt a burst of energy coming out of my body, and anger coming with it. I’ve never felt so energetic, but it wasn’t an energy I could control. I had the urge to break something, I was messing with my phone restraining myself with all my strenght to not throw it away against the wall. So I thought, if I have all this energy in my body, better take it out. I started doing phisical exercises for an hour more or less, I felt tired after it, but sooo much better. I wasn’t feeling angry or nervous anymore, I felt so happy, and I just returned to my routine as if nothing happened.

What do you think was it?

Otter_Space said 4 years, 3 months ago:

Very interesting! It seems to me that this friend of yours hold a special place in your life and you are more open to him than others. When you’re stressed out you don’t feel like taking it out on others for obvious reasons so you get nervous under normal circumstances. But maybe since you are honest with your feelings with this friend of yours, you felt a rush of anger because he wasn’t there when you wanted him to be. I’d say that anger was a mark of your trust on that friend, something which you can’t usually show when you’re with others. It was very thoughtful of you to release it through exercise and even more thoughtful to actually ponder over it and ask others for their opinions. I might have missed the mark here but based on what limited information you provided, this seems to be a possible reason. You seem to be an interesting and thoughtful person, hopefully you’ll be able to figure it out eventually. Have a nice day/night!

Otter_Space said 4 years, 3 months ago:

Another sort of unrelated thing which I feel like mentioning is the fact that breaking things when you are angry may feel like it will help relieve your stress but I came across a counter intuitive research online. In the study, some people were made to talk with a guy with opinions which these people absolutely hated, so much so that hearing this guy made then super angry. Half of them were then asked to move into a room with a lot of stuff and were given full freedom to take their anger out by breaking anything in the room. The other half were made to sit in a room and asked to stay calm and do nothing. After a few minutes individuals from both of these test groups were given a switch which when pressed will give a jolt of electric shock to the guy who made them angry. They had full control on the amount of electric shock they’d want to give to that guy. It was seen during the study that the group which was allowed to break stuff in the room decided to press the switch for longer duration, implying that they wanted to hurt the guy more in comparison to the group which were asked to do nothing. So, if you are still reading at this point, I’d like to say that the reason you felt good was because you did something constructive(exercise) which was worth feeling good about. I believe that you wouldn’t have felt the same relief if you destroyed some stuff instead. That being said, it was a great way to divert your anger. I also like to study a lot when I’m angry. Kinda funny when you think about it, but I guess it kinda works for me.

rinseandrep said 4 years, 3 months ago:

@jeles good thinking on channeling that energy in something non threathening, breaking stuff when frustrated can be scary for the people around you, they don’t know that they won’t be hit next.

Deleted User said 4 years, 3 months ago:

Irritability can be a part of anxiety. But it is still not ok to be throwing things and treating people poorly because of it. If you can swing talking to a therapist, I recommend that. In the mean time, you may want to find some healthy ways to cope with your anxiety, meditation, breathing exercises and journaling are all good to start with.

Red Sheep said 4 years, 3 months ago:

Thank you all for your replies, I appreciated a lot, especially thanks @skimrish for your insight and your kind words, and @Raven for your suggestion. I admit that right now I’m still afraid to contact a therapist. I understand that if I want to talk with one I have to prepare a specific topic or be prepared to talk about something that struggles me. Unfortunately, 100% of the time I talked to a therapist I could never talk freely right away simply because I don’t trust them and I need to know if they can understand me. I went to four psychologists and none of them could, some of them helped me, some others not at all, so I feel a bit uncertain about this. I know it’s something I should do sooner or later, but I’ll wait a bit again.

@rinseandrep that is exactly what stopped me, and also the fact that my father is an aggressive person that tends to break everything when he is angry, which I hate as a reaction, so I tend to avoid that in every way.