Shuku said 9 years, 4 months ago:

I apologize if the title is confusing or this is the incorrect place to ask something like this, but I didn’t see a more applicable group.

My question more specifically is asking, “Would you break up with someone if you discovered that they liked porn that you found weird/strange?”

This question stems from the fact that, since I was probably around 13, I have found anthropomorphic (or what many would label furry) porn as well as hentai sexually attractive. I say probably, because I honestly don’t recall exactly when it started, I just know that its been as long as I can really remember and that is about the age I started searching for porn. In regards to anthropomorphic porn, I know that started from just being a general fan of the SFW art, finding art I liked on places like DeviantArt which eventually led to discovering furaffinity. When I started puberty, I remember coming across some of the NSFW images on those sites and I found them attractive. Similar scenario with hentai and originally just being a fan of many anime. Basically it just snowballed from there.

Now, being 23, I don’t foresee this “sexual fetish” (not sure if it would be called that) going away. I would like to have a relationship with a woman in the future, but I fear that she wouldn’t want to be with me after she found out about it. I’ve never asked any of my female friends what they would think about it, but I recall not that long ago, my sister mentioned coming across some NSFW furry art online (I don’t recall how that came up) and she described it as “creepy.” I didn’t acknowledge it, but from what she detailed about the images, they would probably be some I would find attractive, and so her reaction just strengthened my fear. Some would say here, “Then you need to find a woman who also has that fetish.” The thing there is, while I find the subject matter sexually attractive, I have no desire to act upon it. By that I mean, I wouldn’t want to have sex with someone in a fursuit or something, which people seem to incorrectly assume from anyone who would go by the label of a Furry. I basically view it as sexually stimulating art and just that. As such, I believe that anyone I would be interested in dating would not share that fetish.

So, essentially, how would you react if you discovered that your boyfriend/girlfriend was into furry or hentai porn? I didn’t really talk about hentai as much, because I feel that is more common, but I could see it having a negative reaction as well so I thought I would include it.

eian said 9 years, 4 months ago:

Everybody has a different sexual preference. Trust your partner.. If you partner cannot understand that you like furry and hentai, and breaks up with you. Then is she worth staying with. Dont be ashamed of what you like, my friend views hentai while we wait for the movie to come on in the theater lol
Now if imagine you found a girl and she understands you and your turn-ons.. It would lift your fears and the boulders you carry all the time. But in a different scenario if she does not understand it and is still with you, then ask her sexual turn-ons and try to understand. Maybe even do it for her ;] People are into shit tossing, getting peed on, group, BDSM, feet fetish and milk stuff.. you are not creepy, nor is your taste.. Not even the people that are into those things mentioned.

Trust your partner and have fun. Sex is suppose to be fun.. =]

rinseandrep said 9 years, 4 months ago:

Since your fetish has no space in your relationship, it’s going to be relatively out of the picture, unless you plan to masturbate in front of her.

If someone breaks up because of a fetish, amen, you’ll find another one?

Does your concern regard also the possibility that you might not be able to have a normal sexual relationship without the support of some form of that material (i.e. videos playing in the background)? That would be harder to set up.

Shuku said 9 years, 4 months ago:

Thank you eian and rinseandrep.

While I do agree and would hope that a partner could understand and accept the other’s sexual turn-ons, I guess I am just worried by my own hypocritical thoughts. Basically, I can think of a couple fetishes that, if I found out my partner had, I don’t know if I could understand. Without having experienced that, I don’t know for sure how I would react, but I feel at the very least it could potentially change the way I looked at someone. I guess that is what frightens me. The idea that she could find out and seemingly accept it, but then never really look at me the same because of it. Until it happens, I guess I will never know, but that unknown potential is still scary. I’m sure that is what prompted me to write here in the first place, to see other people’s reactions/opinions and in a way judge the potential of this fear occurring.

Rinseandrep does bring up a valid point about it being relatively out of the picture, and that does improve my outlook that it wouldn’t be as hard to accept as another fetish that would be more direct. Rinseandrep did hit on another potential worry I have been having. While I do believe I could have a normal sexual relationship without the support of some form of that material, I am worried the material may be altering me in a way that could potential prevent a relationship from occurring. Let me explain what I mean. I worry that the porn I like could be altering what I mentally find attractive and possibly result in an extreme difficulty to find a realistic person that I am attracted to. What evidence leads me to this thought, you may ask. Well, while I do have some porn involving real pictures or videos of women that I find sexually attractive, I find I am often more attracted to my other non-realistic porn. I have also never met someone in all my years of going to school that I was really attracted to (asides from a crush I had in elementary school). Relatively recently, I met a girl in my class that I got along with really well and felt that I had a lot in common with. I even believe she was flirting with me at times, but I just didn’t find her physically attractive. It wasn’t that she wasn’t pretty, because she was, I just didn’t feel any sort of attraction and that worries me. I was tempted to at least try to pursue the relationship to see what could happen, but I decided not to because if it progressed and she in fact was attracted to me, then I feel the fact that I wasn’t attracted to her would be like building the relationship on a lie. The fact that I have still never met someone I was attracted to worries me, and maybe that is causing me to look at potential things to blame, or it could truly be a result of these things.

When these two fears are combined it basically creates a fear that I may never find someone I am attracted to, and if I do, there is a chance she may find my fetish repulsive and lead to a break up.

I feel like apologizing for writing so much, but at the same time I am aware that I want to get these thoughts out of my head and so I will post this. I really appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this, let alone reply. Thanks.

WanderingCreature said 9 years, 4 months ago:

I am in the same situation,(different “fetish” if you will) but have found that even tip toeing around the subject with them pretty much everyone I have talked to about the subject find it disgusting.
In all honesty, I don’t think your fetish is that out there. I think it’s more common than you think. However, if you find someone who is very important to you they will probably accept you for that. I mean, they might not participate in it all out or anything, but I’m sure they will be fine with it, and you can probably find other means of being sexually active with them.
Or best of luck you find someone with the same fantasy! Believe me, there are people out there who have it.

But to go back to the original question, I wouldn’t think someone to break up with someone just because of their “different” sexual preference. HOWEVER, unless they were into like “crush” porn or like murderous things that violated my personal morals and/or ethics.
Don’t apologize! We’re here to listen and talk about it