xoLeah said 7 years, 2 months ago:

I have just felt completely not sexual in a way. I want to date both boys and girls but I don’t feel any sexual attraction towards them. I want to do cute dating stuff and be romantic but nothing sexual. Is that odd?

Zertxer said 7 years, 2 months ago:

It’s not odd. We live in a world where there’s no affection… more than sex, we crave a warm hand on our shoulder. :) I feel that way too.

Jess said 7 years, 2 months ago:

Hey, it’s totally normal. :)

Some people just have no interest in sex whatsoever. This is called asexuality. Asexuality is defined as little to no sexual attraction to others and low to no sexual drive.

Just like who we like and how much we like them (e.g. girls vs boys) is on a spectrum, so is how much we are attracted to them.

Imagine this line represents sexual attraction.

|_______________________________________________|
Asexuality……………………………………Very High Sex Drive

You can fall anywhere on this line. The same goes for if we put ‘boys’ on one end and ‘girls’ on the other (that would be the very basic version anyway).

Everything is a spectrum, and your feelings are normal. :) I hope this helps.

Nugget said 7 years, 2 months ago:

It’s not odd at all! Do what you feel is most comfortable for you to do! As long as you are happy it doesn’t matter what anyone else may think. Keep living your life and if its just the romantic cutesy things u like doing go ahead! :) Hopefully you find people that love doing these things too :)

fritaly said 7 years, 2 months ago:

No, not at all. But I feel when you have found the right one you’ll definitely will find a sex drive.

Jess said 7 years, 2 months ago:

@Firtaly , that’s not true. The same as some people have really high sex drives, some have none at all. They can later feel attraction sometimes because sexuality can be fluid, but others time, it’s solid and will not change.

It is totally possible to go through life without being sexually attracted to others.

Princen said 7 years, 2 months ago:

Nah this isn’t weird at all! It’s called asexuality. I’m on the asexual spectrum myself. I’ve yet to find someone that I’m attracted to that is asexual themselves or is fine with having a purely nonsexual relationship. I also kind of just want a really….intimate? platonic relationship? Like soul mate level friends with a bit of romance. That sounds nice.

Deleted User said 7 years, 2 months ago:

and how do you guys know your asexual, like have you been diagnosed, by some sex therapist? any chance you could just be too unfit or lazy for some hot shag in the sack, like id think a lot of fatties or insecure people are asexual, from what ive read like chances of being asexual are 99-1

Princen said 7 years, 2 months ago:

@limitless You aren’t diagnosed to be asexual just like you aren’t diagnosed as heterosexual it’s not a mental illness. I know quite a few asexual people and their appearance has nothing to do with it? There are attractive asexual people and there are unattractive asexual people. I honestly don’t know how you came to that conclusion. And obviously you haven’t read much about sexuality if you say shit like that, so before you come on to a forum where someone is trying to find support in figuring out their sexuality which can be a very personal thing, and you decide to try to derail it with your negative close-minded bullshit, do a little research or just don’t comment at all.

Deleted User said 7 years, 2 months ago:

well how do you classify for asexuality, you didnt tell me much except im uninformed, i thought asexuality was mainly for people who are schizoidal or have borderline schizoidal tendencies, yet i see everyday normal people who claim they are attracted to people, claiming to be asexual, when they have no sex drive, it makes no sense too me..asexual is no attraction to anything period.
ps no sex drive, doesnt always mean asexuality there are bunch of underlying problems that can cause it from physical to mental ones its about time to see like a doctor, if you dont get no pleasures from orgasms, as the chances of being asexual related is 1%,even physically good looking people can be unhealthy too, and have low sex drives coz of this.

Deleted User said 7 years, 2 months ago:

@infinitysquid i dont know if its just your age, or maybe your really stupid, in know way was my comment directed to you or people who have actually gone the lengths to be diagnosed asexual after failed relationships or are geniunely asexual etc..there are whole bunch of people who misdiagnose themselves, instead of trying to find the real underlying problem.

Deleted User said 7 years, 2 months ago:

again i dont want spurn a discussion as im pretty uninformed and i have a very high sex drive, so i cant even relate, and i apologize to the genuine asexuals out there.:)

SaffMM said 7 years, 2 months ago:

We’ll you sound like you’re just waiting for the right person to show up. I know that I’m a lesbian, but I’m not automatically attracted to anyone. Physically or emotionally. I have to get to know the person first. Maybe it’s the same with you:)

Princen said 7 years, 2 months ago:

@limitless I was having a really bad day that day and I was just really tired of dealing with crap, so sorry for being rude. I just want you to realize that what you are saying is really hurtful. But I honestly don’t blame you. The problem is that there is so little education about asexuality, so there are many misconceptions surrounding it. Groups like AVEN are working on outreach programs though! I would suggest that you go read this to better understand what asexuality really is:

http://www.asexuality.org/wiki/index.php?title=Asexuality

http://asexualawarenessweek.com/asexuality-101/

First of all, asexuality DOES NOT mean not having a sex drive. Many asexual people don’t have a sex drive and many do. It is purely not having sexual ATTRACTION. So there are a lot of asexual people who can get aroused, but it’s not attached to anyone and it’s just, like a physical sensation. The asexual people that don’t have a sex drive because of some medical “problem” don’t want to be “fixed” because they don’t see it as a problem. They are perfectly fine having purely romantic relationships and finding intimacy in other ways. Not having a sex drive can be a medical problem that can be fixed, but when you don’t feel a need for sex…well you don’t want sex because you don’t need it.

I’m not sure where on Earth you heard that most asexual people are diagnosed and have mental illnesses, but that is in no way true. Just by googling asexuality you could have educated yourself BEFORE coming on here and disrupting this thread, so please be more considerate next time.

I think you may have gotten asexuality confused with some medical condition, so I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt. Now take this now accurate knowledge and maybe educate yourself? Or if you don’t just don’t make misinformed comments like that again. Thank you.

ohdear said 7 years, 2 months ago:

I feel very uncomfortable with where I fall on the spectrum. I can feel aroused and I guess “self-sexual” but I have no desire to be physically intimate with other people. It makes it very difficult for me to be open to relationships although I am definitely interested in a romantic (non-sexual) relationship. Soul mate best friends is a fantastic description for what I want, to a tee.