Jellyfish Mage said 6 years, 6 months ago:

I’m kind of confused right now. I started dating someone that I really like and appreciate. But every time a romantic gesture comes up I feel kind of…nothing? They’ll say something really nice and thoughtful and I’ll just be sort of like, “Yeah? Thanks.” I want to respond better because they’re a really sweet person, but I’m worried that I’m not feeling what I should be and that I’m kind of heartless for it. I thought I had a crush on them but as soon as we got together all of the “butterfly feeling” stuff (if I can even really call it that) vanished. I’m comfortable around them and sexually interested… but I don’t know if I’m actually romantically attracted to them. I’m not sure I even really understand what romantic attraction is. The only other thing I can think of as a comparison was a crush I had on a boy in my third grade class that lasted for like a week. I’ve never obsessed over someone or felt really nervous because of someone I liked. Physical intimacy doesn’t seem to emotionally rile me up that much based on the little experience that I have.

Romantic gestures feel like something I have to pay back more than something to enjoy.

Is it that I’m aromantic? Or am I just inexperienced and drifting out of the honeymoon phase of this relationship?

If anyone could tell me how they figured this stuff out I think that would help.

Sorry if this is long. I’ve never been on a forum before.

mariko said 6 years, 6 months ago:

@jellyfish-mage you shouldn’t jump right away to labels of sexuality. First of all sexuality is very subjective and diverse as you probably know. But you struggling with emotions does not necessarly mean you don’t/can’t have them.

Idk if this will help but my boyfriend suffers from not being able to express himself. And when he does is super randomly, I never know what to expect. He really struggles with emotions.But is just his personality.

This meaning you should really research this subject very well, seek info from the LGBTQ+ community and even groups that help you with that.

Just don’t define yourself already before getting all the info you need :)

Best of luck in your journey!!

Steve J said 6 years, 6 months ago:

I don’t see you labeling sexuality, but I do see you questioning emotions, and specifically your emotional response. Many things affect emotions, from current health to past trauma. Sometimes a chemical imbalance causes unexpected effects in us. Before you even go down those roads, maybe your partner just isn’t your type.

Natalie said 6 years, 6 months ago:

It was probably just the thrill of the chase and not the person at the end of it. Happens to the best of us.