Jellyfish Mage said 6 years, 6 months ago:

I’m kind of confused right now. I started dating someone that I really like and appreciate. But every time a romantic gesture comes up I feel kind of…nothing? They’ll say something really nice and thoughtful and I’ll just be sort of like, “Yeah? Thanks.” I want to respond better because they’re a really sweet person, but I’m worried that I’m not feeling what I should be and that I’m kind of heartless for it. I thought I had a crush on them but as soon as we got together all of the “butterfly feeling” stuff (if I can even really call it that) vanished. I’m comfortable around them and sexually interested… but I don’t know if I’m actually romantically attracted to them. I’m not sure I even really understand what romantic attraction is. The only other thing I can think of as a comparison was a crush I had on a boy in my third grade class that lasted for like a week. I’ve never obsessed over someone or felt really nervous because of someone I liked. Physical intimacy doesn’t seem to emotionally rile me up that much based on the little experience that I have.

Romantic gestures feel like something I have to pay back more than something to enjoy.

Is it that I’m aromantic? Or am I just inexperienced and drifting out of the honeymoon phase of this relationship?

If anyone could tell me how they figured this stuff out I think that would help.

Sorry if this is long. I’ve never been on a forum before.

Steve J said 6 years, 6 months ago:

I don’t see you labeling sexuality, but I do see you questioning emotions, and specifically your emotional response. Many things affect emotions, from current health to past trauma. Sometimes a chemical imbalance causes unexpected effects in us. Before you even go down those roads, maybe your partner just isn’t your type.