Jess said 7 years, 11 months ago:

As the title says, when did you come out as not straight or not cisgender or both?

I came out in stages probably over a year when I was 16. First told a friend, then two more friends, then one more friend, then my Mum and my sister, and then on Facebook. There are still a lot of people that don’t know but people who aren’t actively a apart of my life regularly don’t need to know, though I wouldn’t lie if they asked.

What stage are you at in your coming out process?

grimbark said 7 years, 11 months ago:

I came out as bisexual to a friend, who I ended up dating for a year and a half, and then told other friends until I had to come out to my parents on February 13th of this year. Some of my family knows but my mother refuses to let me tell anyone else that I’m related to that doesn’t already know, including my brother, claiming that he is “too young” to grasp the concept. If somebody asks I’ll tell them I’m bisexual but I’m not entirely open about it. I’m slowly coming out as bigender on the internet but I haven’t been going by my androgynous name in person yet.

SaraSue said 7 years, 11 months ago:

I came out in stages as well. I started by telling my 2 closest friends at the time (I was 19). Then I told another friend and my counselor. Almost a year went by and I came out to my mom. Then I told my 2 cousins (who are lesbian and gay) and their support was the greatest. A few weeks ago I told my dad. My brother still doesn’t know along with a bunch of my family, but if they ask then I’m not hiding it. It was important to me that my parents knew before the rest of my family did.

catcrabs said 7 years, 11 months ago:

I started using a non specific gender name on the Internet and asking people to call me by their/they pronounce. But the first step of mine was coming out as a genderqueer to my best friend. It took a while to explain what it means and why it’s so important to me that she will know about it and respect my preferred pronounce. But it was worth it, and she became my main supporter. After a while I told about that to other of my friends. I told to my mom that I am a queer after some months, but still till these days, I have a lot of trouble trying to explain her the differences between biological sex and gender, and that I prefer different pronounce then I used to accept before. The others of my family still do not know about that, thought. I simply don’t trust them enough, knowing that they are homophobic and probably transphobic too.

isakiwi said 7 years, 11 months ago:

I told my friends that I’m bisexual when I was 13 and it wasn’t a big deal. The rest of the school found out afterwards but none really cared. I told my parents when I was 16, in the car on the way to school. I just said “btw just so you know, I’m bi”. My mom asked me if I’m sure, I said yes, and we haven’t spoken about it ever since.

Sonette said 7 years, 11 months ago:

I came out to my peers first because someone asked me if I was a lesbian and I replied yes. (The question came from this asshat kid who liked to pick on me since elementary school and I had asked the P.E. teacher why the pairs for the dance unit had to be boys and girls. This was mostly because boys in middle school-at least mine- were disgusting. They had sweaty palms, greasy hair and such since it was at this time that most of the boys were starting their run through puberty. I did not want to touch those ‘things’.)

I generally came out to my mom when I got really frustrated at her talking about my “future boyfriend”. I’m a very emotional person and I very easily let my emotions take over, so I just lost it and between frustration, a lack of security in my self-identity (as is the case with most youth), and having been conditioned as someone who speaks honestly. I told her after sobbing because I was scarred that, after hearing about all kinds of bad reactions, that my mom who I figured would be fine with it would suddenly lash out and actually have something against it. I have the coolest mom though. She’s fine with it; only thing is that she just can’t really relate and so she doesn’t have much to say if I mention that there’s a cute girl or something. So after that telling my mom, my emotional state was so much better and I finally had a base for some self-confidence which I had felt a lacking of for a while.

Charlie said 7 years, 11 months ago:

I’m not sure when exactly I came out as bisexual… Almost everybody assumed or guessed that that’s what I am… I hadn’t realized that there was a label for my sexuality until they told me… Since then, that’s what I’ve been telling people…

nonie said 7 years, 11 months ago:

I have a weird coming out story in that I came out as gay before coming out as bi (well … non gender binary orientated s just people I guess but the term “pansexual” somehow grates on me a bit … anyways … ). I came out as gay at around 16 and then as bi when I was almost 19. I was kinda in denial that you could be attracted to more then one gender at the time and was incredibly confused by the whole thing. I’m still not completely open about it, as in I don’t tell people unless they ask outright, however all of my friends know so meh.

maryfae said 7 years, 11 months ago:

i came out as homosexual to my closest friends a few years ago and then bisexual a few years later. i struggled with my gender identity during this process as well, but only told my best friend about this. i’m still not totally open about my sexuality- if someone asks, i won’t lie, but i won’t go out of my way to say anything. i have told none of my family members- it’s not that i think they would hurt me or shut me out, i just don’t think they’d fully understand and would view me differently, based on some of the comments i’ve heard them make about homosexuality around me. i’m okay with them not knowing, though.

Jay said 7 years, 11 months ago:

I came out as bisexual to a few friends at first, the gradually more and more, until everyone knew. Then my parents, I’ve only come out as transgender to six of my friends, but I intend to tell people as I feel comfortable doing so, but not telling my parents til I’m a little older.

BeAuTyWiThIn said 6 years, 5 months ago:

I didn’t actually come out on my own. I mean I was going to eventually but my four year old cousin whom is not your average four year old told on me

PulchraMors said 6 years, 5 months ago:

I never had the experience of ‘coming out’, as most do(I never explicitly told my family or friends unless they asked)as a straight transgirl. But I’d say people started noticing or asking questions about my sexuality when I was 17 and about my gender around 21. I knew I was like that wince I was about 16, but never attempted transition until this year and Canada’s wait lists are horrible for counseling and hrt. :( But thankfully there is Blah

Tam said 6 years, 5 months ago:

Haven’t come out yet. Doesn’t particularly matter to me whether or not people know. If they ask, I’ll tell them. I’m still the same person without them knowing.
Still, I’m curious what people would think of me being pansexual.