FluidPanda said 9 years, 6 months ago:

Ok this might be kinda long, sorry.
If you don’t feel like reading it all I have a question at the end that kinda sums up what I’m asking.
So I go to a small Christian private school, and I myself am Christian, I am also pansexual and I’m out to my close friends and family. What I really want is to be out at school, but not make a big deal out of it. I don’t want a public display like announcing it on Facebook, mainly because I have family members that live far away that follow me and I haven’t come out to and that’s not how i want them finding out. Also I don’t want anything like walking up to someone and just randomly telling them I’m queer. I want something really subtle, like just kinda talking about it with my friends and have people near by over hear me and let it spread from there or something. I get most people that would be a worst nightmare for them, but like i said my school is small; news like this has happened before with people coming out over Facebook or something, people talk about for a few days then they run out of new people to tell it to so it dies out quickly and just becomes another thing everyone knows. So coming out like that actually sounds really nice to me, but I can never really just subtly bring it up because even though my friends are very excepting they don’t like talking about it, especially at school. They dont like talking about it school mostly because of the fact that the people who run the school somehow figured out my friend was gay and some serious stuff went down, almost to where he was kicked out. Now my friend had been openly out since 7th grade and no other openly queer kid was talked to by the school so I don’t know why they specifically talked to him and I really don’t if I would get in any trouble from the school for also being out, but this doesn’t worry me as much as it worries my friends. I’d rather be out and get talked to by the headmaster then be in the closet and tiptoeing myself around the subject of coming out. And I’m also up for getting myself in a situation where it would be easy to causally bring up my sexualality because it fits into the conversation I just never really find one, and when i do it’s tiny little ones that would just make everything awkward, idk, it’s hard to describe what I want.

I just really need some ideas on how to get into situations where i could casually bring up my sexualality, that has nothing to do with the internet, and would seem totally normal because that’s about where the topic was anyways or something!! Anyone got any ideas?

Jess said 9 years, 6 months ago:

It’s so awesome that you’re ready to take this step! Good for you.

As for how to come out subtly, here’s a couple of ways to do it subtly that I can think of.

- If you see a person of the same gender you think is cute, point them out and say it. If it is too scary to do that with a person at school with that possibly going back to them, then do it outside of school if you get that chance. When they ask about it, just say “oh yeah you guys I’m pansexual”.

- If the subject of who your friends find attractive, bring up people of the same gender.

- If the topic of crushes comes up, you don’t need to say a crush’s name, but maybe slip in something like “I liked this (person of the same gender [boy/girl]) for a little while but then I changed my mind”.

- If the topic of LGBT issues come up, just be like “Oh right, did I end up telling you guys that I’m pan?”

- If a person who is bi or pan comes up in conversation, say it’s really cool that they’re the “same” as you.

- Recommend tv shows with bi/pan characters and say you like it because bi/pan people should get more attention, and if they push why you mention that, you say because you’re pan.

- Say that you think a Pride event would be really fun to go to (if you would want to go to one, that is) if talking about things you want to do. When they push, tell.

Hope this helps.