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Elodie said 9 years, 6 months ago:

Hi,
This is really hard for me. I’m 31 and I think I’m bisexual. I’m a mum, and in a long-term, committed and loving relationship (he is v supportive) so you may understand that I’m kinda late to this.
My life has been especially traumatic and tumultuous and it has only been the last year or so that things have calmed down, and I have been able to have counselling for the abuse I have experienced during my life. I’m finally getting to learn who I am (and I understand that I am incredibly lucky to have that opportunity), and with this has come the realisation that I am sexually attracted to women.

How am I supposed to deal with this? I just have no idea what to do. I’ve spent ages on google searching for a advice line or something but what I find seems to be for younger people (which is a good thing, I just can’t seem to find anything suitable for me).

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rinseandrep said 9 years, 6 months ago:

Depends on what you want to do with your relationship. You are committed in one, I assume it’s monogamous. One path is, keep things as they are. Or, if you want to explore other options it comes to leaving it or asking your partner (within discussing what you found out about yourself) how would he feel about an open relationship, or a polyamory thing. What do you want to do?

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Elodie said 9 years, 6 months ago:

Thank you for replying. I really don’t know what I want to do. Our relationship is monogamous, yes. I’m not sure I could seek anyone else out – I love him very much. I guess it has just come as a bit of a shock and I’m annoyed at myself that I didn’t realise earlier.

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Swifting said 9 years, 6 months ago:

When I married my husband there was a myriad of reasons we actually signed the paper. But at the end of the day though it didn’t matter his gender it was who he was as a person and that was who I fell in love with. I’m a bisexual woman living in a relationship with a man. Yes, it’s open on the sexual end because we’re both non-monogamous people. There are also no children involved.

But to me, if we moved to Greenland and decided that we were only going to have sex with each other I wouldn’t feel too bad about it because he’s the one person in my life who understands me and has been there with me through 80% or more of the worst days of my life.

Sexual attraction and sexual desire do not necessarily mean that you have to throw away a good thing. If you have regrets about not being able to experiment then perhaps you and your husband should discuss some sort of arrangement to maybe bring another individual into your bedroom first rather than taking a whole break and moving on from a relationship that seems beneficial for you emotionally, financially, and physically.

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