jessica smith said 5 years, 11 months ago:

ive not self harmed for a while now and my scars are starting to fade but the ones on my arms are still very noticeable (I still feel the need to but im trying my hardest and got a supportive boyfriend whos helping me with it). its just come to summer and the weather is really hot and im finding it very hard to go outside because ( well for starters I already feel like everyone stirs at me in disgust) but its affecting me heat wise with wearing long sleeves. I personally believe that my scars are my past im stuck with them now so why do I have to cover them up for the rest of my life and suffer in the heat just because people nowadays judge. I just wanted to see if anyone has any advise as to what to do. I want to go out without sleeves just because I am like everyone else just because I’ve had a past doesn’t mean people should judge, but im scared of people judging me because I know it will upset me.

Riss said 5 years, 11 months ago:

I think it’s great that you’ve gotten to a better place in your life and that you seem to have a good support system, specifically with your boyfriend. If you feel comfortable wearing shorter sleeves, I say go for it. You shouldn’t let your past stop you from enjoying your present. And let’s face it, it’s very hot! If you’re a bit weary about other people staring or asking you questions about your scars, you have a few options:

1. Use coverup to help conceal the scars.
2. Answer people honestly and move on from it — chances are they won’t ask twice, if they even bother to ask once. Sometimes people can pick up on the fact that it’s a private matter and that they should shut up.
3. Remind people that it is none of their business. You can politely explain to outsiders that you’d prefer not to talk about it.

You shouldn’t have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with, so think on it and do what feels best to you! No one is perfect, and everyone makes mistakes. Judgmental people most of all — they just fail to see it.

Good luck and stay strong! :)

Hearmenow said 5 years, 11 months ago:

Don’t worry about how other people will react. Overcoming self harm is a great thing, and you should be proud of yourself. The scars isn’t a sign of weakness, it’s a sign of strength, of a survivor.

There’s always going to be people judging you, but you can’t let what others may or may not think, affect your life. You can be better than that.

It takes strength to keep fighting, and to not give in.

By all means, go out and live your life, and if someone has a problem with that, well it’s their problem. The past is past for a reason, don’t let ignorant folks affect your future happiness. And if you ever feel like they’re getting to you, keep reminding yourself that it’s the past. It’s nothing but a line on your arm, everyone get’s scars some worse than others. It doesn’t mean that some of them are a disgrace and shameful, and others heroic. You survived what many people haven’t, and even more couldn’t possibly understand what that situation is like. While others gave up, you didn’t. There is nothing to be ashamed of. They’re apart of who you are, your story, reminding you of what you went through, and what you lived through. Don’t be ashamed of the things you did in one of the hardest time of your life, be proud that you aren’t there anymore.

JustASpeck said 5 years, 11 months ago:

Hey! Congratulations firstly, you have done mighty fine for stopping and managing the urges! As for people etc. people judge. It’s in their nature. You seem pretty well set with a loving bf and friends. My advise is to go outside, no sleeves, to a town over, where no one you know lives. If you feel more comfortable by covering up, I use BB cream alone, or BB cream and then cover what still needs to be with concealer. (I’m not sure if your scars are raised or not). If you have an icon or someone you look up to, realize how they were judged too. That may not sound positive, but where I’m getting is that even the happiest people on earth are judged, and you have dealt with some hard times. Like I said, go with your boyfriend or a friend who supports you. Gradually, you will learn to ignore the looks if you even get any, and learn to feel confident! You are beautiful! Think of your scars as battle wounds! You had a hard time, you fought and you thrived! All the best etc!

starfish said 5 years, 11 months ago:

Bracelets and a watch help cover some of them up. Some thicker, roped or beaded bracelets cover up larger areas of your arm and are very helpful for scars in a concentrated area.

Another is to wear a thin cardigan. Even a sheer one hides anything on your skin very well. It’s light and thin, so you won’t have to suffer in the heat.

I’m very proud of you, it’s always so great hearing about people who have endured the pain and are in a happier, better place in their life. Take care!

Mahogany said 5 years, 11 months ago:

Although it may feel like all eyes are on your arms, they’re not. Most people don’t bother to look. In my own personal experience only once person has noticed, she said nothing, and my cuts were hours fresh.

Hollie said 5 years, 8 months ago:

Starfish is right, thin tops, like sheer ones or netting really help. Also henna, bangles, bracelets or thick cuffs are useful for bridging the gap between 3/4 length sleeves and wrists.
Be proud of yourself and what you have overcome, and remember that everyone hides something that they don’t like about themselves. It just so happens that we hide our skin, and not a spot or grey hair. (Although, I have certainly had to hide all three!)

Most of all, well done for getting on the recovery road. It is long and difficult but really worth it!

MissMuffet said 5 years, 6 months ago:

Show them! You may feel subconscious for a while, but just feel confident and you should be fine!

I have found that a lot of people don’t ask, in fact, a lot of people don’t stare. I worked with my boss for a year before he even noticed my scars. Some of my friends never noticed them for a while either, and others that did waited until we knew each other well to ask.

You don’t have to tell anyone your story if you don’t want to, even after years it is the slightest bit uncomfortable when people (especially if I know them) ask, I just shrug it off and say that I ‘was stupid’ when I was younger but am over it now.

If it makes you feel any better, I am a successful sex worker and I have too many scars to count on my thighs and arms. Not to mention very light scars on my boobs, stomach, ankles. I don’t have many clients notice, and most of the ones that do notice don’t ask.