Bailee003 said 8 years, 3 months ago:

I’ve been recovering from sexual abuse for a long time now, I feel that I will be recovering for the rest of my life. I was 12 years old when it happened, I am now almost 25. I feel like I will never be able to have a family because I am scared of being touched. I’m not getting any younger. I tried going out with this guy I liked and explained to him how I felt but he still wanted more than I could give him. Since then I have been single. I’m scared I’ll never have a family.

My dad keeps telling me he doesn’t mind if i’m lesbian (Which i’m not)And I know how much my parents would love grandchildren. When my parents found out what happened, I watched their hearts break. I could never let them know I have issues now, I really don’t ever want to see my parents that sad ever again. I love them so much.

Swifting said 8 years, 3 months ago:

You have to tell someone what happened. The most healing things for me have been getting out and talking about what is or is not going through my head.

It’s important for you to discuss what happened. A therapist could help you the most to get through this and find away to help you become more accepting of intimate actions from others.

It is not impossible to have a family. You can get trough this.

Annam said 8 years, 3 months ago:

I haven’t told anyone in my family either. It happened when I was in elementary school and I’m now 21. The person who did it is my step father. The people I have confided in always ask the same question, “Why didn’t you tell?” I think it’s the toughest question I’ve ever been asked. I don’t know the answer, but I still don’t want to tell.

Bailee003 said 8 years, 3 months ago:

Thank you for your reply s. My parents know what happened, they just don’t know that i’m still affected by it. They offered me a therapist which I declined and that was the last we ever spoke of it. It was my grandfather who assaulted me, he was gone before my parents found out. I know my Mom compares herself to him, so I never want to upset her. I might talk to a therapist one day, however i’m not convinced that it would be helpful?

Bailee003 said 8 years, 3 months ago:

Annam, I didn’t tell my parents, they found out, but when my Mom picked me up from school to confirm it, I cried so hard and hyperventilated I couldn’t talk, all Mom said was “I believe you”. I probably never would have told them however I am glad they know even though we never speak of it.

Bailee003 said 8 years, 3 months ago:

Annam, I didn’t tell my parents, they found out, but when my Mom picked me up from school to confirm it, I cried so hard and hyperventilated I couldn’t talk, all Mom said was “I believe you”. I probably never would have told them however I am glad they know even though we never speak of it.

Parash said 8 years, 3 months ago:

well to those who is saying “why not tell”, the answer would be it is not that easy to tell, since by telling it u would be repeating the whole thing in your mind

Bailee, i m so sorry that this has happened to you, now regarding the main issue, does any touch effect you? does even holding hands makes u uncomfortable?

and when you say ” but he still wanted more than I could give him” what does he want actually? and what could u offer? if this is too personal u can reply me privately or not answering it totally will be fine also, whatever u re comfortable with

MaryLove said 8 years, 3 months ago:

I guess this abuse can really be devastating causing to phobias especially the opposite sex. I am sorry for what happened to both of you. You don’t deserve it. And I know it is painful and coping up with the trauma is inevitable. But I do hope that you’d put into mind that you are not alone in this. Your family is there for you. They are there to support you and take all those pain away. Yes their hearts might have been shattered when they found out. No parent wants their children to be hurt and abused by some despicable person. But lift yourself up. What happened doesn’t define you, inside of you is still that special and beautiful person. You aren’t alone in this remember that.

Time heals all wounds , you will heal in time not soon enough but you will…

Regarding the touch issue. You have been traumatized but I hope someday you will learn that not every guy out there will hurt you. Someday someone will kiss all those pain and fears away my dears..

Bailee003 said 8 years, 3 months ago:

You are all wonderful. But I don’t want anyone to think that i’m not happy with my life, I have a great job and great family and friends, almost ready to buy my first house, it would just be nice to think that I could one day have a family and not just be crazy cat lady. I like hugs but i’ve never really held hands with anyone, anything intimate however is really horrible and I can only think of what happened.

Deleted User said 7 years, 8 months ago:

This may help?

http://www.reallifeanswers.org/challenges-in-life/abuse/how-can-i-overcome-the-effects-of-sexual-abuse

It is a link to a blog article that is about a lady who experienced similar abuse. She talks about her experience and how she was able to overcome the abuse.

Having experienced similar abuse myself, and am still in the process of healing. This article has given me a lot of peace and hope. I know that you can be freed from the affects of abuse, we all can! What do you think?

OptimisticFaerie said 7 years, 8 months ago:

Oh hun… I’ve been there. What helped me recover from sexual abuse was just venting, crying, distracting myself with activities, and counseling. Counseling was the biggest help I found. (=
Also, as hard as it is to say– forgiving the person that harmed you. Now i’m not saying you have to go up to that person and tell them you forgive them… but if you just work everyday little by little and focus on the positiveness learning how to apologize, it’s a HUGE burden off your shoulders. And you’re not forgiving them for their sake, you’re forgiving them for yourself. It took me a long time to that, but when I did it was like this heaviness was released. It’s tough though, very tough. But i’m telling you, once you do that, and go through the motions? it’s enlightening. You are a strong person, and you don’t need that burden. If you find a guy who can’t understand you and the things you’ve gone through in life? kick him to the curb. He’s selfish. And i’ll tell ya, there are a lot of selfish men in the world who do not understand the fear and scars that are left from sexual abuse. The right guy will come along in time, and maybe not completely understand, but will respect your boundaries and show you the love and compassion you deserve. Because he’ll love you, for you. It may not seem like it now, but some day you’re gonna meet the most wonderful guy. They are out there, just let them come to you (= if you ever need to talk or vent i’m here for you. Stay strong beautiful!

c.hill said 7 years, 8 months ago:

When i was 16 i was at a party and two guys from my high school took me out into the field and both raped me. I was so intoxicated i barely knew what was happening. 2 years later, my parents kicked me out and I had to move in with my brother and his foster parents.. who just happened to have bought the house one of those guys had lived in his whole life. Ive seen him a few times since (i’m now 22) and the fear and pain that stirs in my body even when i hear his name in unexplainable. It took me a long time to trust men again and I still get very uncomfortable whenever the topic is brought up or displayed in a movie. I told my parents years later and they brushed it off. Ive learned that talking to my best friends about it has really helped. Having it out in the open, that hey this happened to me, but I’m here and I’m living my life regardless and I’m learning every day how to love it, has really helped.