Profile picture of Eli
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Eli said 8 years, 11 months ago:

Memories fading,
Faces pass by in a flash.
Nothing is the same.

Anymore, I am lost.
Familiar people and flying time,
No one knows my name.

Memories fading
Time runs by and no sense is made of it.

Please, oh please, oh please,
Remember my name.

“You do not remember me?”
I scream into your face,
Spitting with each word.

I receive a displeased look
And your eyes tell me the truth before your lips,
“You’re nothing but a stranger.”

Sadness floods my mind,
Tears come crashing down like a waterfall,
Remember my name.

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lasette3 said 8 years, 10 months ago:

I wanna believe your sincerity in this poem but why are you acting like why would you want someone so cruel to memorize your name to know you that’s the important detail you shouldn’t leave an a poem often times you must take the reader on a journey with or put them in your shoes if you don’t we wont understand how you feel we wont be able to connect with you making your poem distant and shallow im glad your using free verse and not forcing rhymes but I get nothing from this but a look of disgust and confusion in the end making me “why” your not special remember that next time you write also this is poorly written the repition is overly done its unoriginal I could sick here nit pick every problem with this but it would take to long @Eli

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Viskronika said 8 years, 10 months ago:

So close to sincerity, But so far from originality, schade bade anzug. @Eli

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Profile picture of lasette3
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lasette3 said 8 years, 10 months ago:

@boywhocriedwolf

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