Normally, I’m a Listener.
I listen to people’s problems, and I like it. Love it, in fact. Even though I feel helpless sometimes, because I know I can’t fix them or their problems. And sometimes I wonder, if I am good enough.
I know I still need to learn a lot, but I’m on my well.
Today was the first time I went into a chat as a Venter myself. I mentioned my self harm.
And the other person told me
“i mean what parent would want someone who still cuts right?”
I was shocked. I have enough distance to this problem that I am able to not take this personally, but it’s the first time someone said something like this to me.
In a friendly way, I told my listener that in the future, he should never, ever say something like this again. I left the conversation and tried to calm down.
But somehow, I can’t. In fact, this makes me furious!
And I just want to say.. if anybody got said something like this, or it happens in the future:
Please, do not listen. Please.
Because you know what? You are not a failure. And you are not weak. Yes, there are problems. Yes, you should find a way to stop. Find a way to cope with your problems in a less self-destructive way.
But you are not a disappointment because of this. Neither are you nor am I!
I know I will find a way to get out of this. And if I get to be a social worker as I am planning to and if I should ever be confronted with someone who is suffering, I want to make them see that it is possible to change. It is possible to recover.
I want to be a role model. And I will. It will take some more time, I’m not there yet. But I will.
I wished that nobody has to feel this way, to do these self-destructive stuff. Be it self-harming or something else..
But blaming someone and making them feel guilty is not the right way to do it.
So I just wanted to let this out.
You are not a disappointment.
You are loved, with or without scars.
You can be better. I believe in you.