Deleted User said 8 years, 11 months ago:

Hi!

So I’m 17 and been cutting since I’m 12, mainly to relieve extreme anger and avoid hurting others… (If you wanna know more about how I started, feel free to message me).

(Trigger warning, just in case)

About 1 year ago, I noticed a change in my self harming habit: I would slowly loose interest in cutting and start hitting my head with my fists or on the wall until sometimes, I’d get the same symptoms as if I had a head trauma. I thought that this way, nobody would see scars… Except I hit myself so strongly I make my mouth bleed and get confusions and lumps all over my face…

I know I didn’t choose this, but if I had, would have it been better to keep on cutting? The effects I get when hitting scares me.

So I wanted to know if anybody here uses the same method as me and, if you self harm because you are angry at someone, do you “project” your anger on yourself (like, “I’m so angry at this person I could hurt her/him with a knife, so instead, I hurt myself with a knife so I don’t get in trouble” ?)

PS: I’m really sorry if I ever scared you off with this. You can ignore this post.

Rain said 8 years, 11 months ago:

I used to cut and when I stopped, I replaced it for other habits, one being hitting. Sometimes I punch walls, just to hurt my hands. Especially when I’m angry or frustrated. I can relate to hurting yourself when you’re mad at someone for example. I wouldn’t be violent towards others, only to myself. It sounds like you hit yourself quite serious. I wouldn’t say cutting is better, but I also wouldn’t say that hitting yourself is better. Have you ever tried looking into alternatives? If you feel like hitting a lot, it can be better to hit a punch bag or your pillows. You could also try to release your anger by breaking pencils or pens. Looking into alternatives can be worth your while, because you might find one or a few that work for you.

Deleted User said 8 years, 11 months ago:

I dont do it but friends brother used to, it started when their mom died we never really saw him cry, but he would get in a rage then start punching walls, it got so bad one day his fist was bleeding then he started bashing his head against the wall and his friends had to restrain him. I guess its just another coping mechanism that diffrent people use. for him i gess it was because he blamed himself for not being there when she died so he took it out the only way he knew how on himself.

Is cutting better? Well no its still self harm and iv used it to cope too but its just as bad as punching a wall or anything really so i dont advice u to go back to that habit, but i would advice u to pick another habit that still releases the same anger but doesnt hurt u. U can pick up boxing or go for karate classes that way it releases your pent up energy without inflicting harm on yourself. feel free to message me if u need any help and will try look up more suggestions for u

Deleted User said 8 years, 11 months ago:

Thank’s for sharing your stories.

Fortunately, I can’t get back to cutting, I just don’t want to anymore. I have specific urges: if I want to hit, and do cut, I will not be released from my anger so I don’t cut anymore. It was a real transition from cutting to both to hitting, I have my little idea why though. It is weird, SH doesn’t work as much as it used to… I have long lasting crisises and end up hurt pretty badly without feeling any relief… I guess self harm is like alcohol or drugs, you always need a little more each time…

Good idea looking into some more alternatives. I’ve tried the elastic around the wrist, ice, pillows… Didn’t work and left me in unbearable distress, so I just gave up and surrendered to the urge.