writingtohappiness said 10 years, 1 month ago:

I lost my grandmother 2 1/2 (it’ll be 3 this summer) years ago and a man who was basically my grandfather October 30th. I had the kind of best friend relationship with my grandmother that some girls have with their mother. Or strive to have with their mother. Or in the case of my own, had. My grandmother was my mom’s mom. They had always been close. My mother used to say that she and Mimi (my grandmother) had the best relationship, that they could tell each other everything so when she passed they didn’t spend time apologizing to one another or making up for lost time.

I miss Mimi everyday but it’s on the really hard days when I want to call her and can’t that I really feel like I’m going out of my mind. She was my best friend and basically a mother to me even from Florida. A while ago my mother recorded old voicemails off of her phone and two of them were from Mimi and Harry (my unofficial grandfather). They stuck with me all day to the point where I had a breakdown that night yelling at myself for how I could possibly forget what she sounded like. her voice hasn’t left me since. Mimi was such a huge part of my life but everything I see and do is a memory, one that trigger such immense sadness that I’m afraid it’s really going to affect the relationship I have or anything else I try to do with my life. I don’t want to forget her, but at the same time I want function in a healthy way. How can I do this? Do I only feel this way because the pain is so new? Please help.