HittinOnDorky said 9 years, 4 months ago:
I have been ridden with anxiety and depression since I was about 8 years old. Medically diagnosed at age 14, I was forced to take anti-depressants. I refused to take them, or even believe that what was going on was anymore than me being a hormonal teenager who was addicted to “downers” and pain-killers. I smoked, drank, abused prescription drugs, snuck out and disobeyed my parents. Needless to say, I did not cope well. My first big step in the right direction was when I was 17 and got clean and sober. It was only then I was able to try and piece together the relationships with my family I had shattered. My early to mid teen years were full of drama and abuse, pained memories and neglect. Things finally started to look up when I did not have a drug-induced fog looming over my life. It took me years from that point to come to terms with all my struggles and stigmas, accept the mental illnesses I was born with and figure out how to properly manage them. I am now 21, have had a stable home for a couple of years, a dog, long-term boyfriend, and best friend I would do anything for as well as total support from my family. These stigmas were handed down to me from many generations, both of my parents included. Once I got on the right track to handling them, I noticed a huge shift in my mother’s ability to cope as well. She soon got off her anti-depression medication and started to live a much healthier (and in turn happier) life style. I still find the hardest part of all this being the simple fact that it will never not be a part of me. You can cope, and the depression and anxiety may pull the rug out from under you less and less, but they are always there. They are aways just below the surface and can arise at any time. Thinking about how I will never be normal, I can never be without these struggles makes me sad. It is also what makes life so tragically beautiful, it is my reason to keep fighting every single day.
I hope that this helps, I am happy to answer any other questions if you have them.
|