Baleigh said 10 years, 11 months ago:

Hello, my name is Baleigh and I’m 17 years old. I have been bullied ever since kindergarten and I’ve dealt with depression most of my life. I have moved a couple times and so far I’ve gone to 6 different schools since then. I am about to attend my senior year at yet another school, but not completely because of bullying reasons. On Friday, August 17th, 2012 I was kidnapped, held at gunpoint, and carjacked. I was in a mall parking lot waiting for my dad to get off of work. I was there to pick him up. The man approached me after I got out of my car and held me at gunpoint. Fortunately, he let me go after a while. But he took the car, pistol whipped me twice, punched me once, and left me in a parking lot in the middle of nowhere. Sure, there were businesses around, but this was late at night and they were all closed. I ended up running a few miles before I reached help. When I did, the cops were called and I was taken to the station where I ended up staying for a couple hours telling them what happened. It’s May of 2013 and I’m still not over this. I was just recovering from very severe depression before this happened, so everything just happened at an inconvenient time. Now I have PTSD and depression mixing. When I would have panic attacks at school, people that I thought were my friends would start laughing at me and calling me a baby and they said I was weak. I still have a few friends left, but many left me at the time that I needed them most. The past few weeks haven’t been the best at home either. My parents and I have just been arguing a whole lot, which keeps adding stress to the whole situation. I can’t get away from this and I’m tired of trying. I have a support team including my wonderful boyfriend, some good friends, and my therapist (who hasn’t been available in a few weeks, but I’m going to see her when she comes back to work), but the support team sometimes isn’t enough. I used to cut and I have seriously considered it for the past couple months. I haven’t yet, but I’m at the end of my rope. I’m not thinking of suicide, I just can’t take this anymore. It’s hard being unhappy so often and I’m so lost.

Kirstin Lopez said 10 years, 11 months ago:

Baleigh, I’m sorry that people around you do not know how to put themselves in your shoes. I’ve experienced traumatic events and I think there are huge steps you can start taking to try to accept what happened to you. It may be frustrating knowing that you’ll have the memories, but having strength is key and here are some things that have helped me. Bravegirlsclub.com -submit to their newsletters, behappy.me, people of the second chance and this site. just surround yourself with positive energy, love! try to find words that will make you have faith in yourself. you can talk to me anytime, just to vent or for advice or just a friend. My parents have never talked to me about my incident and things are tough at home for me always so i know that it can feel lonely but it does not have to be that way and i’m glad you’re seeing a therapist. in between sessions make sure you surround urself with ur boyfriend, the sites i listed, and self-love!!

Deleted User said 10 years, 10 months ago:

Hi, I also suffer from PTSD and couldn’t help but notice that you basically just had the one year anniversary of the event. For me the anniversary always triggers or intensifies my PTSD symptoms. Please feel free to message me anytime.