bricheese said 10 years ago:

Well, you both are young and personally I think you shouldn’t be worrying too much about serious relationships and love and whatnot. But anyway, any couple needs boundaries and time apart from each other. Each person needs their own friends to hang out with and actually there has been studies about the key to long-term desire in relationships is that attraction requires distance in order to fully appreciate the other person as a self-sustaining entity. But most importantly you need to talk to him about it and how you feel and if you want to continue the relationship and start from there and see where that takes you. I wish you the best.

UptownSalsa said 9 years, 9 months ago:

There is this huge psychology term for this part of a relationship – it is called “autonomy.”

You can google this term. It is quite interesting.

When I was young, I scored really low on a couple’s counseling survey about spending time apart from my boyfriend/fiance.

I thought, “This is no big deal. We love each other. We should want to spend every waking moment together…”

Well fast forward almost 10 years later, and I understand that we smothered each other. We didn’t make it.

We didn’t have our own lives, and we didn’t make hobbies outside of each other. I think people pull away when they feel us cling. If you two are meant to be, then you need to pull away to be your own person in a least one area.

It isn’t being unfaithful to him to try new things with other girlfriends. If your entire calendar includes only “time with him,” then you need a social makeover.

You seem really fun, and nice so don’t sell yourself short by pining away after him. Volunteer, babysit, do art, go out with girlfriends – and if you are meant to be he’ll enjoy the downtime that you two share together outside of your own time.

He may be contemplating being on his own, and that’s ok at your age. He may even be interested in someone else, and that’s ok too. Because if you are meant to be together you will keep coming back to each other in the right times at the right place.

You are super young, and the days ahead of you will be incredible – don’t you dare miss out on your amazing life by worrying about what anyone else will or won’t do. You are invincible.

Just Keep Going said 9 years, 8 months ago:

Sorry to say, but if you *are* in a serious relationship then it’s too late to not think about having a serious relationship. Now, in my opinion, honesty is the key here. You will never know where you both stand if you keeo avoiding the subject and pretending things are the same between you. You need to let your boyfriend know how you feel about him and about you situation, and he needs to do the same. After that’s done, you can both decide what the next step is going to be.