C.J. said 9 years, 8 months ago:

I am new to this site. I stumbled onto it by chance. I have been dealing with an absolute life collapse. The idea of having someone to talk to was intriguing. I began to chat as a ventor and I became rather frustrated at first. I had a terrible batch of listeners (I know there are good listeners.) I assumed I just have bad luck.
Out of frustration, I decided to do a couple sessions as listener. I have a background in non therapeutic counseling in my former profession. As listeners we have to be sensitive. We have to be humble. We can’t come into a listening role with the idea that we are the best thing that every happened to the person we are supposed to be listening to. We have to be aware of things in our culture. People on this site deal with very traumatic experiences leaving them very vulnerable. I personally before starting a conversation ask the ventor if they are comfortable talking with a male. We live in a culture that perpetuates rape and abuse. I think it’s a good idea to ask the person if they or comfortable talking to whatever gender you identify as. I think this site is beautiful. Thanks for being great.

rinseandrep said 9 years, 8 months ago:

In my experience, anyone who has that kind of issue just asks upfront, and/or talks about the issue itself.

Mooby The Golden Sock said 9 years, 8 months ago:

I do not provide any information about myself unless asked, including gender. The way I see it, it’s up to the venter to determine how anonymous they want their listener to be.

C.J. said 9 years, 8 months ago:

no, I think I have been misunderstood (probably completely my fault.) I don’t think the question should be asked because one gender may be suited over the other. That would be completely wrong. I just think it should be asked out of respect of the ventor. The ventor may feel only comfortable talking about their issue with their own identified gender. I always ask if they are comfortable talking to a man. I have had many say no and also I have some say they don’t mind but the fact that I asked established a place of trust. I personally just think it’s a healthy thing to do. I don’t feel that gender has any bearing on ability but I also don’t think it hurts to divulge your gender either. It’s ok if you disagree. I am not threatened by it. Thanks for the replies.

Robert said 9 years, 7 months ago:

I tend to start a session by introducing myself by name. If the person has an issue with my gender, they can instantly stop talking or tell me they’re not comfortable and try again.

C.J. said 9 years, 7 months ago:

I would just like to reiterate that I am not advocating for gender stereotypes. I am not advocating nor do I believe that a man is not capable of being sensitive. I only ask the question because I think it is ethically appropriate in my opinion. everyone that has commented has disagreed and I am okay with that. However, I do wish to not have my words or intentions of my words to be misrepresented.

Tasselhof said 9 years, 7 months ago:

I will also join the gang of disagreement with that question. If venter wants to vent just to male/female, they most of the cases just ask beforehand.

The same comes with age. Being 33 year old man, I got disconnected several times just because of these facts.

And I had several session, when I was asked my A/S/L at the end of the chat session and the person was like: “Whoa! I would never ever tell this to a guy / someone that old. But you really helped me”

My opening question either is “What brings you here?” or “Whats going on?”

And one other side note: As of the whole chat is considered anonymous, I tend not to reveal anything about myself and expect a venter to reveal me about themselves as much as they consider being appropriate. If venter wants to know my name, my gender, sexual or religious preference, I tell them

entranced glue said 9 years, 7 months ago:

I personally don’t think if it is a male or female since they wont know