Malrin Ningaeardis said 4 years, 9 months ago:

I recently became a devoted Listener, and have, of course, done my best to give the best advice I know how to give. However, I have become seriously stumped in one regard. A few of my Venters has expressed a desire to become closer to women/men and eventually get a girlfriend/boyfriend. When I tried to show them their positive qualities, unfortunately, it seemed as though they were literally incapable of accepting the honest compliments of things that I have observed during the conversation. They became disturbingly self-deprecating and extremely negative. How do you folks think I should handle this in the future?

rinseandrep said 4 years, 9 months ago:

I didn’t encounter those in a while but when I did, I remember thinking I should link this:

http://captainawkward.com/2014/08/26/617-all-the-dating-advice-again/

and cut it short because it’s a long process and it’s usually a “no you don’t understand nothing ever will work I can in no way leave my comfort zone” context. And in a sense, it can’t be otherwise, these people know there is a reason they aren’t in a relationship so any attempt at soothing will just be met with dismissal.