Alvana said 7 years ago:

I think that sexuality is influenced partly by very personal experiences and partly by brain chemistry… I’ve always been curious what those personal experiences may have been tho :)

For example, I identify as pansexual, and I think what sealed this for me was being unbelievably fascinated by a sci fi book I read long ago where humans could slowly morph into different genders. The main character has a sexual encounter with a transgendered person, and her unusual anatomy was described very beautifully. It was just immensely interesting to me, and it was the first moment when I looked at someone transgendered as sexually appealing, even tho it was just a character in a book… After that moment I realized that I am mostly gender blind when it came to beauty and attraction, and could find this poetic beauty-beyond-beauty which appealed to me immensely, in a lot of people, regardless of gender.

Does anybody else have similar personal experiences?

PS – I’m not saying that you turn a certain sexuality just because of one experience or another, but I think personal experiences influence your sexual development a lot :)

Malfuria said 7 years ago:

Interesting! Personally I’ve known I was gay ever since I can remember, nothing in particular sparked it off. I think I had my first gf when I was about 7 :P

Some people might say it was because I grew up around girls mainly. My dad was usually at work at the office and my mum and auntie looked after my sister and me. I went to all-girls schools until I was 16. But, my sister went through the exact same upbringing as me and she’s straight, married with kids etc.

However, around puberty when my friends started dating boys, I dated a few too and even had a long term bf after I left school. But I think I was just going through the motions, following the norm. I think society and social pressures led me into that, so if my sexuality was ever influenced, that was what did it :)

desi said 7 years ago:

i knew i was lesbian for a long time ever sence i was little alot of poeple say if u get molested u turn out gay which i find is not true and is just rude i told my mom i was lesbian a year ago and she hated it for a while she is slowley excepting it and my family said its because i didnt have a dad so i only had a mom which made me closer with females but i am happy no matter who wants to judge me im in love with the best girl ever and on the 2nd of next month will be our year

Alvana said 7 years ago:

@thief21 That’s so cute about your gf at 7, so cute and innocent!! :D <3

To @thief21 and @desi6969 -> I definitely don’t think traumatic experiences, or growing up around women, “turns” you gay, that’s a really rude and disturbing thought, in line with people who think you can be “cured” of your sexual orientation.

But I do think it’s true that certain experiences are like A-HA moments, which make you understand your identity. For example I really like reading queer identity fiction, and coming out stories, because they’re often so sweet and beautifully written, and they outline moments when you come to understand why you feel the way you’ve always felt :) That’s the sort of personal experiences I was asking about :)

BlueBowTies said 7 years ago:

I struggled with my sexual identity for a really long time. At first, I thought I was straight, because I grew up in a Catholic school surrounded by straight kids. We didn’t even understand at that age what gender identity and sexual orientation was. I guess what really got me thinking about my sexuality personally was the exposure I got through books and fandoms. I began to get curious about my own sexuality, but it wasn’t until I fell in love with my best fried (another girl) that I realized I might not be straight.I thought I was bisexual. When high school introduced me to porn though, I got even more confused. It didn’t arouse me, and I never really understood what was so great about it, and masturbation never felt right. So I did some serious digging and discovered the huge spectrum that sexuality is and can be. I self identify now as demisexual and biromantic, and I finally feel at home in my skin. It’s a nice feeling, though it took awhile to get here.