Maryaha said 10 years, 8 months ago:

Hey guys,
I was searching the forum and I realised I had already introduced myself but I didn’t like at all my presentation – it was someone I am not.

So, I’m Maria, from Portugal.
I’m someone who, for many years, didn’t know how to react to the domestic violence she was suffering. I was a domestic violence victim for 10 years. It ended when I left my own house to go live with my grandparents.

Now I’m taking my own brother into court – I believe justice needs to be made and he needs to pay. I need to be able to live without being scared of being killed.

Some people say I’m a fighter, that it took a lot of courage to face him and my whole family (who is, by the way, on the side of my brother) but I just feel I had to. This is me. I couldn’t let him escape with what he did, I couldn’t allow him to kill my mom, I couldn’t just kill myself until he paid.

In January 2013 I had the worst phase of my chronic depression. I started cutting and was suicidal. I wanted to kill myself a lot of times.

I had days where I’d make 200 cuts on one arm. It was bad.

But it the help of medicines I eventually got better. It still hurts. I was able to be three months without cutting and I’ve succumbed and cut again, two weeks ago or something. But I’m struggling to get better. I deserve better.

So, who am I?
I love reading and writing – writing was something that helped me – it was what kept me from sinking until beginning this year.

I’ve published two books and the third will be published beginning next year – the third will be my own story about domestic violence, self-harming and things I’ve been through.

Last thing : No matter how hard things are, trust me, they DO get better. Like my tattoo says:

“Tough times don’t last. Tough people do.”