I’ve self-harmed for almost two years now, and by now I consider it a part of who I am. I don’t cut because I want to feel pain or because I believe I deserve it. I cut because most people around me don’t think I’m depressed, to the point that I started doubting my depression. I cut to prove to myself and to others than I’m depressed and unhappy, because the cuts are a tangible proof of my unhappiness. I cut where no one can see, because there is a huge stigma in my community about having any kind of mental disorder and being open about it would ruin my family’s reputation. I’ve heard homosexual people tell me how hard it is to hide who they are and how much it hurts them. I feel the same way about cutting. I am a cutter just as much as I am a daughter, a sister, a friend, a student. If I could, I would be open about my cutting. I hate hiding this part of me. If I could, I would cut the lower part of my arms and stop being concerned about hiding my upper arms and wrist. I think it would help me stop cutting if I can just show the world my pain and have them believe me. I wish I could tell everyone about this, not because I need sympathy, but because it’s really hard when everyone thinks I’m so happy and have the perfect life. I hope one day I’ll have the courage to display my cuts and show my true feelings. Until then, I’ll still be hiding who I am.