Maxim said 3 years, 11 months ago:

I need help, that I know. But I never wanted it. I never wanted people to help me, because I liked the way I was. They can call me crazy for smiling everytime that’s fine. People smile for many reasons, some smile because they’re happy, some smile because they’re with someone they love, some smile to hide the pain inside them, some.. like me… smile because they can.. some like me, smile every single second possible.. to show the world that they’re fine, that they want to help, they want to make your day better, eventhough theirs are a shithole..

Recently, the events I’ve been going through has rendered my smile meaningless, I can’t smile anymore, it hurts now. I can’t smile in front of the mirror without crying a little. I’ve always seen the world as a gloomy shithole of a place to live in. I used to tell people “It’s fine, everything’s gonna be alright” with a smile… Now I can’t smile anymore…

… I want to smile, I want to help people again… but right now.. I need help. I know how stupid this sounds, but please help me smile again

SigmaSuccour said 3 years, 11 months ago:

// I can’t smile anymore, it hurts now. I can’t smile in front of the mirror without crying a little.//
> What exactly makes you cry? And what crosses your mind when you try to smile? @maxwell121415
{whatever comes to your mind or whatever stresses you when you try to smile, is the thing you (or ‘we’ if you prefer) have to analyze.}
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And on a side note… your display picture is something that would make you, yourself (and other people) remind you of the fact that you smile even though you are internally bleeding. (you are affirming through your display picture, that your life is a ‘shit-hole’. I can’t imagine why your life would be like this if you surround yourself with these kind of affirmations… I suggest putting a display picture that actually reminds you of good thoughts and promotes good health.)
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And you stated the following in your profile,
//I have multiple personalities disorder, i am, somewhat, insane…//
>if you keep reminding yourself that you have disorders, or are insane, or are in depression… that promotes your psychological disorder, your insanity, your depression and grows it even more…
So I suggest you change that too. I’m sure you have more good qualities to mention about yourself in your profile, then to type out your dysfunctional behaviour.
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Apart from that, do tell what crosses your mind when you try to smile now. People cry to relieve stress, what is the ‘stress’ here exactly?

Silent Radiance said 3 years, 11 months ago:

There is nothing wrong with getting help, it’s alright to lean on others every once in a while. You don’t have to carry these burdens entirely on your own. You don’t have to smile all the time, especially if it hurts. You say you help people and try to smile for others, which is lovely of you to do, but don’t forget to also take care of yourself.

Your outlook on life is very negative, I have no place to say that it should be positive, however I do not believe it’s good for your health. Thoughts can too easily become habits and shape actions. The more you continue down this path, the greater the grip it might have on you. I can’t imagine what got you to this point, but perhaps there is room for you to introduce change into your life? I don’t know what your past methods of self-help have been, but if they haven’t been working, maybe look for other ways of helping yourself (and I don’t mean attempting potentially harmful acts).

There is sanctity in life and it would be a shame for you to live yours with that mindset.

Hang in there, please don’t give up, and I’m not just saying that. You never know what’ll happen, things can change, especially with the right support in your life. This site has seen many people go from very low points in their lives to standing on their own two feet. If you need peer support, you’ll find it here, it’s what Blah is for. I hope that you can find a way to smile again. Only this time, really smile, from the inside too.

Is there a way you can seek professional help to not only aid you with your current pain, but help you forge a path to a more positive lifestyle? Although we can support you here on this site, ultimately our reach is limited and so too is our education/certification.

@maxwell121415