screams said 7 years, 8 months ago:
if i would personally be honest . My opinion about myself is very ugly and unlikeable, the lack of self is driven me sick and in my deepest heart , i sometimes wished i should have not born this way. its also a misfortune that i’m too afraid to handle people’s criticism , although i know that no matter how good a person is , there’ll be always someone who hate him .
Handling criticism is very worrisome and frightening for me , i cant never listen to any criticisms , neither it’s a good criticism or a bad criticism. whenever i heard people criticizing me , i will contradictory show my disagreements and suddenly turn to be very unwelcome to those people. thus i’m always carefully in doing almost everything because i know when i feel threatened i cant control myself and i might hurt other people. so i’d rather not make any mistake to avoid getting criticized.
my opinion about myself is considered as ”ugly” for me , i have never felt comfortable being me . always there’s an anxiety about people’s opinions. i’m always be anxious and so i feel like people always trying to get away from me after they know that i’m not good enough for them . so I’ve never hoped that anyone would ever stay long in my life .
i know people change every time , at every single second they can probably be someone else .i have a new friend and i feel like we’re match but sometimes because of my anxiety , i cant never get into the groups , i know joining an existing groups of friends need many struggles ,i think i’ve struggled but always there’s a stopper when someone in the group dont want to get new member . well , maybe i was born to be alone .