big pipsqueak said 6 years, 11 months ago:

I’m a girl and I’m dating a guy. When we go out, he’s always the one paying for our dates. My friends say he’s supposed to be doing that because he’s the boy, but am I supposed to be offering to pay? I feel weird talking to him about money but I feel like a spoiled brat every time he pays for something for me.

User456 said 6 years, 11 months ago:

Offering to pay is the polite thing to do. If you want to display courtesy, then you should offer to pay. It’s sexist to think that the guy should always pay simply because he is the guy. But the smart thing to is to let him for as much as possible, as that will save you money. That is cynical, but money is very important. If he is willing to pay, then let him.

rinseandrep said 6 years, 11 months ago:

With dates, that the person who asks the other out to do things has to cover the price of the other person’s company is the rule usually.

Then as the relationship goes on, you can discuss it. If you feel more comfortable offering to pay your share, and you mean it, do it, it might be very welcome according to stats )

big pipsqueak said 6 years, 11 months ago:

I’m pretty broke right now so I can’t really be paying for dates, unless I take out money from my teeny bank account, which I’ve been doing way too often lately. I just feel like it’s kind of my unspoken duty to offer to pay.

User456 said 6 years, 11 months ago:

You shouldn’t feel any guilt for doing the sensible thing. He offers to pay out of his own free will, and there is no shame in accepting that whenever you can, especially when you’re not in a position to pay.

rinseandrep said 6 years, 11 months ago:

You can also just tell him that you can’t pay right now so if he wants to keep dating, he’s always going to have to pay, and let him decide if it’s ok. Remember that if he is ok with it, you will not owe him anything due to him paying.
On your part, you can try to be ok with cheap dates/activities, if it makes you feel better.

big pipsqueak said 6 years, 11 months ago:

@anon556 @rinseandrep
I don’t want to feel like the pitiful girlfriend who can’t afford shit.

twinings said 6 years, 11 months ago:

I think it’s polite to offer to pay. The culture of women ranting about equality then demanding the man pays is slightly irritating to me.

But if I didn’t have much money then I’d thank him for his generosity so far then arrange a cheap picnic date or something to show that I care but a low cost option :)

In all my relationships I’ve always split the bill half or taken turns to pay for things and it’s worked well.

Hope you feel better about it, don’t feel guilty you seem caring and sensible and I’m sure he understands :)

gray beard said 6 years, 11 months ago:

The one that initiates the date should pay. Or is that idea from an era past?

Dora said 6 years, 10 months ago:

I think it’s the best if everyone pays for their own. Or if you take turns. But sure, if you don’t have money right now it’s very nice of him to offer to pay, just as it would be of you if the situation was reverse :)

Chris said 6 years, 10 months ago:

I agree with gray beard, but overall if he isn’t complaining or anything I guess you shouldn’t regard it is a big issue, but it is nice to offer. I guess when you have more money you can always treat him out on a special occasion :) but other than that, I think your bf probably knows your money situation and doesn’t mind paying, but that’s just my opinion. If he initiated the dates however, I wouldn’t expect any less.