This post is going to be long because my thoughts are everywhere and I am very confused with myself/what i’m doing and what i did.
There’s this thing about me that I’ve only come to realise recently, that is, I sub-consciously want(??) to make guys fall for me. I don’t know. I can’t tell if i’m doing it on purpose or not, because while I don’t explicitly do or say anything to suggest that I’m interested in them, it always seems like I am when I think about it in hindsight. Like , the things I say to them seem appropriate in the moment because I assume it’s a mutual friend zone but eventually when they say something to me that indicates they MAY be interested in me it’s like a little ‘yay!/achievement unlocked!’ in my mind. I feel a lot differently when I find out that they actually are interested and plan to take things further though.
It’s almost like I’m playing a game that i don’t know about. “Accidentally” making a guy fall for me then being totally scared and guilty for doing so because I have no feelings for them that way.
I don’t intend to get into any relationship, and I’ve always made that clear to my guy friends. But somehow my actions always make them feel otherwise?? I don’t know what I’m doing wrong. I always make my bro-zone efforts pretty obvious but … I guess coupled with the gestures and things I say, it reflects differently?
The big issue with this is, it’s my best (guy) friends who fall hard and want to take things further. I’ve had two best guy friends for 2+ years and they’re friends with each other too. The first time it happened, I lost my best friend and we aren’t really on great terms now because I rejected him. This time it’s the remaining best guy friend I have and I’m really petrified because I know when he falls for a girl, he falls hard and gets really affected emotionally by her actions towards him.
I can’t say I didn’t see it coming because he had invited me to be his +1 for some of his events and asked me out on the weekends when he was free. But I always shook away the thought because he knows clearly I’m not looking for anything and that I treat him like a bro (or at least i thought so).
Now I feel freaking guilty for making them like me and just… HELPPPPPPPP, I DONT KNOW WHAT I’M DOING OR WHY I DO IT I JUST DONT WANT IT TO HAPPEN AGAIN. What should I do about this friend now?
To the guys: What should I avoid saying or doing that would make you think a girl(or a best girl friend) is interested in you?