Shinning-Like-Stars said 9 years, 4 months ago:

Hey guys! I am just wondering what your thought is on open relationships and any tips/rules you would suggest for a high school open relationship situation!

glass said 9 years, 4 months ago:

In high school??

If really curious, check out The Ethical Slut

LittleFighter said 9 years, 4 months ago:

Personally I don’t have a problem with open relationships. As long as individuals involved are confident and secure enough, then they should be free to engage in a relationship any way they want to. Where the conflict comes in, I think, is that people sometimes aren’t sure where their boundaries lie, and while they may enter a relationship thinking they are okay with anything, their opinions might change later on. Since during high school you’re still young, impressionable, and only just trying to figure out what your values are, at this time I think open relationships can be especially volatile. If you really wanted to try an open relationship successfully, I would recommend waiting till you’re older, but it really depends on the people & their maturity level.

Panda said 9 years, 4 months ago:

I think in any relationship, you’ll realize that one individual loves more. Unless both sides… are like completely satisfied with the idea then I guess it can kinda work?

Seems almost like friends with benefits type of thing, usually it ends up bad for both sides.

That’s my personal opinion on it though.

Mercy said 9 years, 4 months ago:

Yeah ahah agreed ^. But I guess the biggest no no for an open relationship is not to hook up with the your boyfriend or friend with benefit’s mates. That always ends up nasty.

redlove96 said 9 years, 4 months ago:

It depends on the kind of relationship. I mean there’s nothing wrong with going to dinner one-on-one with different people on different days. But if you are kissing, or even sleeping with, a different person every night because your relationship isn’t ‘exclusive’ then yeah, you’re basically a player. But I don’t see a problem with seeing multiple people at once, as long as you are careful and not physically involved or even too emotionally involved (saying ‘I love you’ and such).

Shinning-Like-Stars said 9 years, 4 months ago:

Thanks you guys for the advice, my boyfriend of 10 months is thinking about an open relationship and yes we are still young I 17 in Feb and him 18 in Dec. I’m still in the indecisive mode if I approve of an “Open Relationship” or not. I understand it takes a lot of trust and communication. His reasoning is in his Human Behavior class they were learning how High School Relationships should be just for experimenting… Which I do agree to a point, with experimenting what personalities click and what you are looking for in a future partner. He says he just wants to go on dates with other girls, but him and I haven’t even had time to talk about it in person. So I don’t know how he could possibly have time to go on dates with other girls.

LittleFighter said 9 years, 4 months ago:

It seems like you’re open to the idea, but if you’re not completely comfortable with it then don’t let him push you into it. Its okay not to be comfortable with it. Open relationships only work for certain people, and if you feel like it’ll end up bothering you then save yourself the energy & just tell him that you don’t think its a good idea. If he really respect you then he’ll understand.

le23 said 9 years, 4 months ago:

I don’t know what you should do, but I have been in a successful open relationship for 2 years now so maybe my insight will be helpful.
When my partner and I met, the feeling was so different and so much stronger than I had ever experienced before, that we were determined to preserve that and treat it differently than any other relationship either of us had previously experienced.
We decided to have an open relationship, with emphasis on ridding it of all sense of possession and attachment. It works because we truly want each other to be fully happy, and we are both secure in the fact that whatever happens on the side with either of us, in NO WAY effects OUR connection. That connection is untouchable, unchangeable because it is so strong, so any connection either of us makes with anyone else, no matter how strong, has no effect on OUR connection.
It works very well for us, we are actually roommates. We live in a two bedroom house and sometimes we sleep in the same bed, sometimes not, sometimes one of us doesn’t come home at night, sometimes one of us brings someone home for the night, etc..
It works because we are both fully committed to renouncing the feeling of possession because that is where problems like jealousy and sadness come from.
I’m not going to lie, it’s not always easy. Both of us must be ALWAYS very honest with each other and 100% committed to this lifestyle. It can be a lot of work at times, especially because there is no common model to follow, but I wouldn’t have it any other way.
I get to have my best friend, lover, roommate, and my FREEDOM all at once.
So, you could definitely call me an advocate. If you have any questions feel free to message me:)

Angel Demon said 9 years, 4 months ago:

In my personal experience and opinion; In most cases of a party offering an open relationship simply means that they want an excuse to get with others while still technically having the one person they can always come back to should they prove unlucky in their attempts to get another. What it sounds like to me, is that he wants an excuse to see other girls while he is with you, and he wants you to be okay with it. When a relationship gets to this point, what I suggest doing is thinking about whether someone like that is worth having around. Things that come to my mind; Ask him if he would truly be ok with you seeing other people. If he reacts with anger or any negative emotion whatsoever, this indicates that what he is asking for is entirely selfish, and an excuse to sleep with more women while still being able to come back to you.
Personally, I think open relationships are dirty. Intimacy is, in my opinion, something that should be shared only by someone that you feel truly close to, a solid connection to. Someone you truly and deeply love.

NotSoTypicalTeen said 9 years, 4 months ago:

I think that perfectly fine you get to have someone you can cuddle with while also being able to go make out (…) with other guys! Honestly would love to do that

}i{shmetterling}i{ said 9 years, 4 months ago:

there is alot of sound advice already given. heres my 2 cents as well. it all depends on the people involved. i used to think polyamory was fucked up. til i met people in them who shared their experiences with me and also the book “the ethical slut”. surprisingly i found myself in a few sort of open casual things over the next few years. and it was ok, for the most part.. but complications arose when one party involved actually wasnt truly into it, they tried, but in the end just couldmt handle it. i have also been that person myself. youll have different feelings about different people. there is alot of communication, honesty, respect, trust and reassurance required. your primary partner is like coming home when you are together. and you ultimately define together what your relationship entails. it is alot of work and isnt always easy or for everyone. and thats ok.

another book i would recommend that is a shorter simpler read, but very helpful and written with loving intention is
“redefining our relationships” by wendy o. matik
ISBN-10: 1587900157 (use that number at the bookstore to find it by giving it to the clerk if they need to look it up)

good luck! you are both young still, but in a way its kind of mature of you both to explore the option….just be careful and most of all always be honest with yourself.

Deleted User said 9 years, 4 months ago:

Open relationships really are not a good idea. Other than obvious ethical/religious values, there are STDs. Emotional trauma. It just opens a big door of trouble. Somethin to think about.

Alex Frost said 9 years, 4 months ago:

They can be great but you both have to be careful and honest with each other about your feelings. I have found myself in this situations before have accidentally ended up hurting the other person in the relationship as I did not realize her feelings for me where much stronger than she was letting on. Just be careful.