I hope I’m posting this in the right spot- I haven’t been on here in a long time and things have changed a bit it looks like.
I just need to talk to somebody, I’m not sure what to do and I’m freaking out and I feel like complete crap.
We’ve been together for nearly 5 years now, and we’ve been best friends even longer. We’ve had rough patches before, even some pretty bad ones, but we always work though it and fix things and it’s always okay. This time just feels so different though, and I’m terrified. I feel so sick to my stomach and I’m so sure I’ve just lost my best friend in the whole world and favorite person on the entire planet.
Last night me and my girlfriend had a fight. It was just over some tiny thing but idk somehow it just got bad really fast. And like I’ve said we’ve had a couple scary fights before but… I don’t know. It feels dumb to say and I don’t mean to sound like I’m pinning all this on her, but I feel like she just turned into a completely different person all of a sudden. I don’t know the way she’s started talking to me is just so… sarcastic and mean. I feel like she hates me and it scares the absolute shit out of me.
I don’t know it went on all night and eventually she refused to say anything else to me but “go to sleep” so I gave up and tried to sleep, hoping maybe things would be better in the morning. (We’ve /never/ just gone to bed with something bad between us and it feels horrible.) For a few minutes after I woke up I thought maybe it was going to be okay. She hugged me and said she was sorry and she loved me and I was so happy but then idk. We started talking about what happened and almost immediately she just got that change in her voice again and idk. She started defending the things she said to me and I feel like a huge baby but I started crying and she started screaming and idk.
She left the room after that and I’ve just been sitting in here freaking out since. Once in a while she’ll come back in here to get something and throw some kind of little jab at me and I’ll snap at her to cut it out even though I know that’s not helping. I don’t know.
I don’t even care about the stuff that got said last night I just feel so sick because this isn’t us and this isn’t how she’s ever acted towards me and holy hell it hurts so bad and I feel like she doesn’t care. I want my best friend back so bad. I want that more than anything in the world but I can barely recognize her right now. I miss her so bad it hurts when she’s gone but when she comes in here I just want to hide. I don’t know what to do.