(◣_◢)Poet said 10 years, 7 months ago:

Same applies to guys. number one sign of a guy with confidence issues is him feeling he can’t get the girl he wants. here is the primary difference between men and women, and a reason it will always be better to be a male; ANY girl will date ANY guy, but ANY guy won’t date ANY girl. men are much more picky than women when it comes to picking women.

here is how men pick women:

1. first we screen the possibilities. this is the stage in which we almost instantaneously eliminate all women we absolutely would not be with in any romantic/physical way, no matter the personality or other possible gains. depending on where you are, this eliminates anywhere from 5-99% of the women in that zone.

2. now with whatever is left, we rate them on looks, best to worst, not so much 1-10, because this is like taste testing as supposed to final judgements, as overall ratings can change when considering other factors, which leads us to #3.

3. prioritizing our values in relation to the available selection. maybe none of them jump out as gorgeous, so we go to what’s most important after looks, such as personality, her personal skills (sex, cooking, is she smart, what does she offer, why her over the others?).

4. and then you go through them all again for an assessment of potential. now men don’t usually go after women with the intent of changing them, that’s typically something women do with men, but the most a male wants to do is humble the female if she isn’t already, at least to his role.

5. next, you go over whether procreating is a priority for you, because depending on that, you may eliminate even more of the crop based on genetics, family, and even looks, as your child will share those in some combination with your own.

i could probably add a few more, but that’s just some to give example that while women can be shallow and ignorant, as can men. as a guy, you’d be surprised how many girls want to be with you but deal with the same confidence issues you do, and its worst because for the most part women still expect men to chase them and it feels unnatural if they have to chase you….i myself prefer to be the chased, unless of course she jumps out at me as someone unique, which has only happen…once maybe, and she is the greatest plague to never relinquish my mind; i’ll probably die with her in my thoughts.

Belle & Her Beast said 10 years, 7 months ago:

Well that was rather depressing to read. And very generalized.

I know guys who would be grateful to be with any woman. I know women who would be just as picky with men as you described.

I also know from personal experience that the handsome charming cunning male I once dated was the GOOD GUY, and the shy, seemingly cute and funny awkward guy I dated was abusive as hell.

For me as a girl, personality is what matters.

Board said 10 years, 7 months ago:

Speaking of stereotypes: I don’t want to sound like an ass, but the way you worded your original post makes you looks like the most stereotypical “nice guy” who complains about women friendzoning him.

You have to understand that some people already know what features they like/don’t like. You shouldn’t get surprised if a girl complains about not finding nice guys when you’d be there: Maybe you’re not nice in the way she wants her boyfriend to be?

Nice guys like you make good friends because you’re nice and probably make a good conversational partner. But the lack of social skills/outgoing energy might be why they don’t think of you as a potential boyfriend.

You have two ways of going about with this: Either you can wait to potentially find a girl who finds you to be good boyfriend material, or you could try to become more social. The latter option probably would work out better.

Panda said 10 years, 7 months ago:

@duckmaster

I’m sorry I had too XD