Wallflower said 6 years, 3 months ago:

Have you ever cheated (or been tempted to)? Have you ever been cheated on? If so, were you able to forgive? And do you believe that if someone cheats once, they will do it again?

I’ve been cheated on 2 times by my current bf (6 years together). I got over it both times, I don’t even think about it anymore.

an average girl said 6 years, 3 months ago:

I was in a very unhealthy relationship where my boyfriend cheated on me multple times over a few years. I forgave him each time but iy took it’s toll on me.
I struggled to trust him or believe anything he said, and I became controlling, jealous and possessive.

Finally in the end, he left me to be with another women and I had the chance to let go.

Now I never give cheaters a second chance. I know now I’m worth a lot more than that. Maybe they won’t do it again. But I don’t have room in my life for people like that anymore.

ghosted said 6 years, 3 months ago:

I agree with the comment above.

I was cheated on 3 times by my boyfriend with two different women. At first I didn’t want to accept that he found pleasure in someone that wasn’t me and I just shrugged it off.

After a while we broke up and I was extremely paranoid and jealous of this other person he was seeing.

I felt sorry for her almost, she deserves a lot better than him.

I wouldn’t ever let someone cheat on me again and think they can get away with it.

I’m completely over it now but I think that if you’re a cheater once you’re a cheater for life.

If someone is prepared to cheat on you they’re prepared to cheat with you, imo.

Deleted User said 6 years, 3 months ago:

i cheated on someone once, came clean only when i got caught, and felt guilty about it for years. my last relationship ended because my s/o cheated on me for almost over half of the duration of our relationship and seeing as how she was also my best friend, i cut her out of my life immediately. i wouldn’t give her another chance. if someone’s cheated on you once, they’ll do it again imo and you have to have enough self respect to not fall for it.

meg(: said 6 years, 3 months ago:

I have never been cheated on, nor have I ever cheated. I have felt tempted to cheat though. And if someone’s a cheater once, they will cheat again. People do something small, such as a lap dance at a party, and if they don’t get caught, then why stop? Next it’s inviting them over when you’re at your brothers soccer tournament, and if they’re not caught, they gain more confidence. They evolve and start a whole relationship while they’re with you. Cheaters don’t stop until they’re caught. And remember, those sorry’s don’t mean a thing. He’s just sorry he got caught.

Chwati:) said 6 years, 3 months ago:

Well I think cheating is the fault of both the cheater and the on who’s cheated on. Or it’s the fault of neither. I don’t think it has anything to do with being careful or keeping the person very close but it does have something to do with jealousy, insecurity, possessiveness, being submissive, putting on a tough mask, etc. And I know out of experience that a cheater can be inspired to stop cheating for good. Of course, the thought of cheating on someone you love or someone you are committed to in itself is wrong but for that thought to even occur there is always a reason. There HAS to be a reason. The reasons that people give might be stupid but most of the time there’s more to it. It might be because they’ve stopped feeling attraction, they’ve lost connection or because they aren’t getting what they expected out of the relationship. How is this “inspiring” done? I don’t know exactly. But I’ve seen it happen once and that one true story is enough to make me believe in it.

Deleted User said 6 years, 3 months ago:

Well, there is a thrill in cheating, especially when a relationship starts to stagnate.
It is really damaging to the mind and heart, but, if you cheat live with your guilt, dont share it to your partner, do the right thing and break up.
Pretty much the only reason emotional people should not cheat is mainly ,they cant stand the guilt, but, then again they are the most likely to cheat as they are so irrational, bloody drama Q. Weird paradox.
I don’t think a person who cheats on someone is likely to cheat again, as much as a total virgin/”nice guy” or angel.
But, I do feel a person who has been cheated on, will be cheated on again, unless they change and choose better, like you got to learn.
For me “cheating”, literally is when you get caught, if, you slept with another man/woman, and told me right after, I wouldnt care much, there are attractive people in this world and I am guilty as charged, but, if I find out from someone else or after an extended period of time or basically your partner hid it from you, thats being cheated on, and well trusts broken, and that hurts, and in my book not unforgivable, but the trust is gone.
The only way to move on is too forgive, and never give them a second chance. A second chance is just stupidity at the highest level.
Personally, I don’t respect those people who give second chances because they cant let go. I doubt they even respect themselves!

Deleted User said 6 years, 3 months ago:

I have been tempted to cheat on someone in the past but never did out of the respect of the relationship. I understand that people aren’t monogamous by nature by any means, but if you choose to be in a relationship with someone you should at least honor the relationship you are in.

If you are tempted to cheat and obviously if you do cheat, break it off with the person. I know that people deal with different things in different ways, but is sex really JUST sex?

9 times out of 10 it isn’t and so its safe to say that when someone cheats, they are developing an intimate relationship with another person, all the while trying to hold on to the relationship that you both have. If you or your partner wants to continue the relationship, there really shouldn’t be any cheating involved.

From my own personal experiences and the experiences I have heard from others, when someone cheats it is usually best to just end the relationship. I mean if you are in it for the sex (let’s be honest here) then you both can still maintain that sexual relationship together if that’s what you want.

If you are looking for commitment and a stable relationship, cheating (especially CONTINUOUS cheating) is a giant red flag. There are over 7 billion people in the world….it may take awhile, but there is someone out there who won’t cheat or screw you over and that’s something no one should have to experience.

TelecasterBlues said 6 years, 3 months ago:

Attaching a definition to cheating is the first problem…but I never have cheated and most likely never will.

I’ve been cheated on once, with her being apologetic, but I have a no tolerance policy with cheating. I can only speak for 20-something land and can’t get into marriage or anything trul deep, but I’ve always thought that if you cheated, then there was a reason whether you realize it or not…doesn’t matter why or what the specifics are, it’s a clear sign that the relationship needs to end.

Deleted User said 6 years, 3 months ago:

@wildcats0997 took the words out of my mouth

@telecasterblues glad you have a no tolerance policy! And yes there is always a reason, the relationship usually drying up, is one of the biggest ones!

Aaron said 6 years, 3 months ago:

My girlfriend who I truly thought was the love of my life cheated on me. I cannot describe the pain that I felt when she told me but after breaking up with her I realized that she was the one that truly suffered. She’s now been in multiple meaningless relationships and continues to ask me for a second chance – 2 years after the incident – so it really makes you wonder why people cheat in the first place.

NotSafeForTwerk said 6 years, 3 months ago:

Been cheated on, by every girlfriend actually. I am able to forgive, but that doesn’t mean you have to trust. My last relationship, we were together for 8 years and she cheated on me with her ex. I forgave her and tried to move past it, but found out she was still seeing him (I was told on a friends only basis, but I had reputable sources that said otherwise) after I told her not to have anything to do with him until I was over it.
Ultimately it is up to you to choose if you can get over the betrayal. But if the person has cheated twice, or more, chances are they are taking you for granted. That’s just my opinion though. I am sure there are many people who are able to work past it, and never have that kind of thing happen again, but due to my past, you only get one chance with me.

Deleted User said 6 years, 3 months ago:

I have been cheated by my girl friend,it was like 11 months ago.I want to forgive and forget but I couldin’t.still I hate her.

Nicko said 6 years, 3 months ago:

Sorry for the bad english…..Cheating, is bad when you do, is bad when they are, cheat is in ours. We don’t escape from him, but we can fight against, is in ours decide what we whant to do you.

Deleted User said 6 years, 3 months ago:

I’ve been a pretty avid “once a cheater always a cheater” but I think it really depends on the circumstances. Some people really do just make mistakes and unfortunately it takes something like cheating to make them realise they need to work on their relationship. I would rather they were just upfront with me instead of pulling stunts like that but I’d be willing to hear them out. If I thought it was unreasonable I’d let them go.