Becca said 8 years ago:

If u have been with someone for a long time/ but u feel like things aren’t the same, in fact they are worse, example they don’t notice you did ur hair differently or if you cooked a nice meal and they say nothing about it. He thinks everything is fine, but I beg the differ, is it just me???

NotSafeForTwerk said 8 years ago:

I’m not gonna lie, in my last relationship, I did that a lot. Not cause I didn’t care, but often times the change to her hair was minimal and I couldn’t see a difference. We get used to repetition and routine. Eventually, for some, gratitude can become an unspoken notion. They might not say it, but they think you know. I had a friend like this, he’d show gratitude for a while, and then just stop cause he figured it was implied.
Also, keep in mind that guys are used to being far more direct about their displeasure. So, for example, if you give us the 50 yard death stare, chances are we won’t get the hint. Passive aggressive hardly works out too well, even if we are hyper attentive to it, we’re gonna slip up eventually.
Not saying you are being that way, mind you, just some helpful advise.

The Giggle Blizzard said 8 years ago:

I can’t speak for anybody but myself, but here’s my take on it.

I rarely ever cooked growing up, it was always someone else either in school or my parents at home. At home my parents made sure to teach me the manners to always say thanks for the food to whoever made it so I have a habit of doing this but I can imagine a lot of people were never “taught” this at home and maybe your guy is one of them.

Also growing up, I was never too worried about my hair since I always kept it short, just like all of my guy friends and the only time we really noticed someone’s hair was if they hadn’t gotten a haircut for a long time and then decided to do so. On the contrary it seemed that the girls I knew put a lot of effort into their hair, changing hair-styles daily and often dying it and I can imagine they also commentated on their friends hair a lot.

If you really feel like this is an issue, tell him that you’d appreciate it if he made more of an effort to notice the things you do (such as when you cook a nice meal for him or change your hair style), but I imagine because of the way he grew up it might not be in his nature to notice these things and express appreciation for it – it does not mean he doesn’t actually appreciate it. Especially in the beginning of a relationship I think you make more of an effort to notice things and express appreciation but as it becomes part of your life for long enough you start taking it for granted.

rinseandrep said 8 years ago:

If you want something to read about this, “I need your love, is that true?”, by Byron Katie, deals exactly with these minor relationship problems that aren’t exactly dealbreakers but still upset you if you think that he has to notice your new hair, or compliment your cooking, otherwise something is wrong.

Becca said 8 years ago:

thanks for yalls advice…..

Kwonza said 8 years ago:

I don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t actually see a problem with what he is doing. He’s just forgetting some minimal things. I’m sure if you said, “Hey, how’s my hair look? I got it done,” then he’d take notice.
The gratitude is probably implied, since that’s how it gets after a while. In my eyes, this gent isn’t doing anything wrong. However, if it is bothering you, talk to him about it. Express how you feel and say that you’d like him to compliment you/your cooking more so you can feel like he loves you/needs you/whatnot. Just don’t expect him to read your mind, because guys can’t do that. Be direct and best of luck to the both of you and your relationship :)