Jaiesta Peart said 9 years, 11 months ago:

Most ,if not, all my friends have a picture or an idea of their dream wedding. They even have the names of their future kids neatly tucked under their belt. I have nothing against all of these things; i think it is a beautiful experience. However,am i weird for these things to never cross my mind or even appeal to me? I have never pictured my future ever being married to anyone or even having any children. I don’t know but i feel happy just being single. My family thinks i am crazy and i must get married and have children. I know i am not ‘just saying it for now’.

What do you guys think?

o n a said 9 years, 11 months ago:

I think it’s perfectly OK to not want to get married or have kids, that lifestyle isn’t for everyone. When people ask me to explain I just tell them to imagine one of their friends’ dream jobs as being something that they absolutely hate. Just because their one friend has a certain job and loves what they do doesn’t mean they have to as well.

Chwati:) said 9 years, 11 months ago:

Well, it’s one thing to be happy and single and it’s another thing to feel loved, protected, adored and happy with someone else. Being single doesn’t mean you can’t be happy but being in love with someone is something that’s different on the whole! It’s exciting and just the feeling of having someone to love you and care for you like that and to have something precious to lose is not something you can feel when you’re single and happy. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being single but being with “the one” is just another dream :)

Anne said 9 years, 11 months ago:

I think it’s perfectly fine to not want to be married or have a family. As long as you feel happy with that, you don’t have to feel guilty about it or think that you’re wrong. It’s better if you choose what you really want to do instead of forcing yourself and ending up unhappy. :)

vnzlgmn said 9 years, 11 months ago:

I find myself in a very similar situation. The idea of marrying and having kids have always seemed nice before. But now that I am in a relationship, I have this urge to just keep it as it is. I love the time and things we do for each other, my partner and I. And the idea of having kids just scares me that, this would never be the same again. :( Maybe for good, but, who knows. I know for sure that time and attention will be divided. And so will out time together. This, right now, is perfect for me. I’m afraid for this to change, even with our own future children. Seems selfish, but, this, too, is my opinion ‘for now’. But I also don’t want having children to just be the ‘change’ in the relationship. It’s just a huge thing, you know. More lives under us. And I have once been a child, a teen, I have not been so good. And this scares me too.

Swifting said 9 years, 11 months ago:

I never pictured myself in the life I’m living now.

When I was 15 and you told me I’d be married, and wishing for children at 30 I’d have laughed at you and told you that you were crazy.

But, I found a guy who understood me. We didn’t get married with a big white dress with all of our family and friends. We signed a physical piece of paper in judges chambers. The bond that paper gives us is nothing compared to what we feel in our hearts. Maybe we’ll get that wedding on our ten year anniversary maybe something else will be more important.

As for kids; even after I was married I didn’t want kids. Even after I found out I was pregnant I wasn’t sure I could do it. But at six months I wanted a child. I was so excited… unfortunately for us it didn’t work out. I lost my pregnancy shortly after I became excited.

But now we’re working on adopting. It’s exciting. It’s rejuvenating.

Life isn’t what you expect it to be. And it’s okay to not see things. Be flexible. Nothing is set in stone.