romanticloaf said 8 years, 9 months ago:

I, 19, have been with a wonderful man the last 10 months. He is everything any girl could ever want, we met in university but he lives on the west coast and I on the east which is the only downside. We’ve both decided, independently, that university wasn’t to our taste but decided to spend the summer together before parting ways. We’ve also agreed to try long distance until we can be together, but we’ve agreed that if it doesn’t work we’ll remain close friends.
I’ve flown out to meet his family and they took me in with loving arms, however, when taking him to meet mine we had a few issues. His father is from Hong Kong, while his mother is born in North America and it pains me that my family couldn’t embrace him like his embraced me. My grandfather and his wife mocked him to my face, but behind his back. While I was expecting such bigotry from my white small town family I was not prepared for how deeply this pained me. I’m not sure how to handle this. I don’t feel comfortable speaking to them about it, but I’ve told my mom my feelings and she basically told me to get over it. I’m deeply hurt that the people who claim to love me can’t respect the one that I love too.

Swifting said 8 years, 9 months ago:

Unfortunately what your mom said is true. At this point you are not going to be able to change your Grandfather’s and his wife’s mind. This is a scenario where you can’t teach an old dog a new trick.

My mother-in-law is similar to your grandfather. She cannot accept me because of my ancestry.

I will say though that the small town my husband is from – while we have some issues – 80% of the population is very accepting. They don’t go out of the way to make anyone feel uncomfortable.

How I get through it is that I make it a game – I pretend that the person insulting me is drunk and count the number of times they repeat themselves, or how many insults in a minute, or substituting insults like mad-libs for hilarious words.

cat said 8 years, 9 months ago:

Well should you get over it? I think those are harsh words. I would say anytime your Grandparents voice their racists opinions simply state you don’t agree with what they are saying. You don’t have to say anything else. And possibly spend less time with them since it is not good to be around all that negativity.