Helping Hand said 9 years, 9 months ago:
Well, my best friend broke up with her boyfriend (they were together for six years!) last month, so I know what you are going through. I guess each person is different and copes with breakups in a different way, so it’s hard to have like a general formula, but here are somethings that I feel work best:
• First of all, it’s important to bear in mind that it is natural for her to feel the pain, and no one should tell her to “stop” feeling it. I know it sounds nonsensical, but we end up doing this kind of instinctively when we see someone we like suffering. We say stuff like “Don’t be sad” or “You shouldn’t be so sad” or stuff like that, and the truth is that the sadness is a natural part of the process of getting over the breakup. So I think it’s better to allow your cousin to just talk about her feelings and put it out… And also remind her that she is sad now, and it’s normal to be sad now, but that it won’t last forever and eventually she will feel better 
• You can try and distract her with things she likes, but without being pushy.This is really delicate, because it really depends on the person’s personality. Maybe you could invite her to go to the movies, or just hang out at your house… Most of the times, when people are sad and they are just left alone they have more time to just think over sad thoughts, so it’s good if you get her out of the house and doing other stuff. But again, if she is resistant and doesn’t feel like going out, don’t force her, she just needs her space.
• Always remind her that you are by her side and always will be. Sometimes during break ups we feel abandoned and betrayed and alone, so it’s really important that our friends remind us that we are not alone and that they will be there. Maybe she doesn’t feel like opening up to you for instance, but remind her that whenever she wants to she can; or if she just wants someone to laugh with, you’ll be there for that to.
Another thing: I noticed you mentioned she lost her virginity with him recently, and I imagine that must also be a big deal for her. Maybe it would be nice to speak to her about that, emphasising that just because she broke up it doesn’t mean that their relationship wasn’t special, and that that specific moment wasn’t special…
I hope this helps, and I hope her heart heals soon. I’m sure having such a great cousin like you will help a lot! ♥
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