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PassionateAboutMe said 8 years, 4 months ago:

I have tried explaining to my boyfriend what PCOS is and how it is connected to infertility but he doesn’t quite understand. How can I tell him I may not ever be able to have children?

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Deleted User said 8 years, 4 months ago:

Did you try it “flat-out”? I don’t think something like this is a topic you just want to kinda “dance around” on. You might want to sit him down and tell him how it actually is, since it COULD affect your relationship and you should really make sure that it’s out in the open. It’s definitely always better than people finding it out somewhen later by accident.

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czshadow said 8 years, 4 months ago:

Tell him my story my wife has pcos and I got her pregnant twice and they both did not make it. Now we are getting a divorce

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sarahecox90 said 8 years, 4 months ago:

I’m not sure how else to tell him other than try explaining it again. I understand where you are coming from, as I have PCOS as well, and it isn’t something easy to deal with. I would be sure to explain not on the physical complications of it, but the emotional as well. Good luck! Wishing you the best.

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tweeks said 8 years, 3 months ago:

Maybe try starting with:
“I cannot have children. I am infertile.”
Then explain why and the condition. Maybe also have some printouts on the condition handy so he can read up on it himself. Explain, physical and emotional aspects.

This is something that could affect your relationship. If he wants children and you can’t have them, it’s unfair to keep him in the dark. But maybe if you explain it, he will understand and together you both can explore other options. (Adoption, foster…)

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Deleted User said 8 years, 3 months ago:

Honestly, if I were a guy (I’m not, I’m female) and a girl I really liked, one that I would want to have children with, told me that she had PCOS, I would immediately look it up online and learn all about it. It shocks me that he didn’t do that himself. However, if I were a guy and really liked a girl (like I could marry her) I would be disappointed about her being infertile but I definitely would not leave her because of it and I would think about adoption. Of course not all guys think like this; but they really should. You can still create a happy and lovely family even if your wife or girlfriend is infertile. I think you should tell him point blank that you are probably infertile and unable to have children. You might be afraid he will get angry or leave you because of it, but the thing is, the RIGHT guy won’t leave or get irrationally angry at you. Best of luck with your health and your relationship!

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cazzamanda said 8 years, 3 months ago:

czshadow :( I am sorry to hear your story.

PassionateAboutMe- The only way to do it is to be upfront and honest.
My partner and I are facing the possibility of never having children and I have been honest the whole way. He has been really understanding. Google is also a good friend or even giving him some flyers on PCOS.

The way I started out was the old “Hey babe have you ever thought about having children?”
Followed up with.
“What do you think about IVF?”
“What do you think about adoption/ fostering?”
“If we discovered we could never have kids how would you feel? Would it be the end of your world if you couldn’t?”

Then explaining why. I have been lucky with him as our chances are very slim and he has promised me a pony and 7 dachshunds if we can’t have babies.

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