Alleinad said 8 years, 10 months ago:

I am so sad and hurt because my boyfriend of more than a year brokeup finally with me because I refused sex when at the beginning of our relationship, we both agreed not to have sex but he suddenly changed and chose sex over me, he has been everything to me and now he sees me on the street and just walks by like we never shared anything. And it hurts cause I was a virgin and I actually gave in a few times just to prove that I did genuinely love him and didnt want to loose him but my faith cant let me do that. No premarıtal sex!

MLE said 8 years, 10 months ago:

I am 100% not religious and I don’t believe in abstinence. But, if I was initially attracted to someone who was and they told me they were waiting until marriage, I would simply know they are not the right match for me and I would move on. It sounds like he entered a relationship without taking your values seriously. Maybe he thought he could change you or that you were just all talk and would have sex with him. He’s responsible for his own hopes and misjudgements about who you are, that’s his own issue and problem. If you really don’t believe in premarital sex, then you’re going to have to find someone who believes in that as strongly as you do. It will definitely narrow down the amount of people who are compatible with you, and you might find that although they believe in waiting, that they don’t hold other nice qualities that you are looking for. You might change your mind and decide that waiting isn’t as nice as it seems, or you might find someone with the same values who you can stand eye to eye with, and you’ll wait together. Either way, it’s your own journey and your own choice. A guy ignoring his “ex” isn’t anything new. Don’t let him get to you and find your own happiness. Sex is an element to a relationship that he prefers and that you do not prefer. You are just too different to be compatible. He shouldn’t be looked down upon for wanting sex in a relationship and you shouldn’t be looked down upon for your faith.

Alleinad said 8 years, 10 months ago:

Guys are full of shit! If he knew all that why did he then deceive me that he cared that much to sacrifice for me. I am having a hard time forgiving myself for trusting him and believing the lies. Its way better to stay single than to be betrayed and have your heart broken.

AnnieH said 8 years, 10 months ago:

Honey it sounds like you made a commitment to a belief and that works for you. But in your boyfriends eyes he probably felt like he was taking a second place in your heart because the first place was filled by your faith. Boys have a hard enough time competing with other boys. The fact is, sex seems pretty important. I say this even thought I’m still a virgin, not because of faith, just because I haven’t found anyone who can get me to a point that I want to have sex with them.