Uni said 6 years, 7 months ago:

Ok so..Like all other people, I started having sex fantasies, but at a young age, maybe like 2-3 years ago when I hit puberty, and well, they started off normal, “vanilla”…But then slowly, they started turning more kinky, I’d fantasize about being kidnapped/raped but it would be in a CONSENSUAL way, like a role play! I would never want to be actually raped or kidnapped against my will..You know what I mean..
Anyways…A few months ago I felt how the fantasies have turned into kinky stuff only,
I started fantasizing about really..rough stuff I guess…And I’m only THIRTEEN!
HELP. I can’t fantasize normally anymore! If I do they just turn into kinky scenes, well sometimes they don’t.
Please don’t judge me or anything :( I’m just so scared that when I lose my virginity in the future I won’t enjoy it because of my fantasies…
I really wish I could be normal again :/
I still get turned on by “normal” stuff but not nearly as much as with the kinky stuff….

Do I have a problem?
Is it normal to be thinking about these things at my age?

Thanks for reading..
Please don’t judge..

MollyMollyMolly said 6 years, 7 months ago:

Hey there sweetie, There absolutely NOTHING wrong with this, as this being your preference and what your into. I bet there are thousand other people your age who are into “kinky” shit and thats perfectly normal, they’re just not as brave as you to admit it. As long as what your into isn’t hurting anyone or yourself there’s nothing wrong with it at all :) just stay safe and happy

Ian Moone said 6 years, 7 months ago:

What you are into is called BDSM, Or at least a form of it. You are not alone, it is one of the most popular fantasies out there besides “Vanilla” sex. Worldwide millions of people are into BDSM, maybe not exactly like you, but similar. As long as you know your limits and express them to your partner, they should respect them. Make sure you trust the person you are “role playing” with. that is key, and you won’t get hurt.

Mellow Mallow said 6 years, 7 months ago:

Honestly, what the human body enjoys and fantasizes about can seem really bizarre when looking at it from an outsider perspective, but it’s not abnormal. A lot of people are turned on by many different things, and there’s nothing wrong with you if you like things on the kinkier side.

When you do decide to become sexually active, and this goes the same for anyone I talk to who isn’t necessarily into kinky things – make sure you feel you are ready. Make sure you feel you’re ready, make sure you’re informed, make sure you’re in a frame of mind to enjoy it! I would do a great deal of research regarding safe, sane and consensual bdsm practices if you decide to incorporate them with partners in the future – MAKE SURE your sexual partners do the same, because if there’s any miscommunication it can lead to serious misunderstandings or damage. If you do not trust someone, do not engage them. You will regret it.

I had a lot of kinky fantasies at your age, and younger, including consensual non-consent fantasies. Whether or not those fantasies are a by-product of the romanticism of rape in our society though…that’s a bit trickier.

We can’t necessarily control our desires, but we can control how we respond and react to them, and we can decide what kind of external stimulus we invite into our lives. Because we have much more easily accessible exposure to sexual things, including those of a kinkier nature, perhaps these desires are easier fueled?

Sorry if I went on a bit of a tangent there. The main point is – no, you’re not alone, and no, it’s not a problem. Not everyone will understand it, so it’s important that you talk about these kind of things in safe spaces with people you trust.