Lucipherous said 9 years, 5 months ago:

today, i decided to go out for a quick run. trying to lose a few pounds. whatever. about halfway through, a car with two middle aged looking men in it pull up next to the sidewalk i’m on, start slowing down, and whistle at me and start saying very explicit things to me, then pull into the nearest parking lot, as close to the sidewalkt hey can, and watch me.
1) i’m 15.
2) i’m not a fucking object. that was incredibly disrespectful and degrading.
3) most importantly, at this point, i’m having an extreme panic attack in the middle of the day in summer in southern texas because that was a trigger and i’m having flashbacks and i can’t breathe. so i run full speed into the nearest store, buy some water, and call my mom and tell her to pick me up.

i feel like such a failure. this should be a simple task. as rude and obnoxious those guys were being, i should still be able to complete simple tasks like going around a few blocks. i’m emberassed. they probably weren’t even going to do anything. i know a lot of girls that would just take that as a compliment, go along with it. but having been sexually assulted before, i can’t do normal things without being triggered.

if you’ve been in a similar situation, how did you deal with it? do you still go out and do what you need to do? how do you make yourself feel safe?

Dusted wings said 9 years, 5 months ago:

I understand how you feel very well. Just a week ago I was in a foreign country and a guy actually started feeling me in the street, it was incredibly annoying and frightening. He went away and came back only to ask me (in his language which I do not speak) to come with him and he blocked my way.
That was the scariest moment of my life evn though I’ve been through worst things. It too everything I have not to decent into a panic attack and walk back to the hotel, thanks to some English-speaking guy who helped me find the hotel, because I couldn’t find it on my own.
I think it is very normal that you couldn’t finish what you started, because your surroundings started to feel dangerous, or so your brain made you feel. I really hope you can find a way to cope with this and get over it somehow. Because you are right, normal people would have taken this lightly and shrugged it off as nothing.
I wish I could help but I thought it might make you feel better if I shared my story.

EvanLeppard said 9 years, 5 months ago:

You are not a failure! I would view guys who do that as a threat, too. They know it’s not flattering and that it’s not a compliment, their goal is to harass and intimidate. This was a very frightening situation and your reaction is totally okay.
You can’t take a chance on MAYBE they wouldn’t have done anything. Maybe they would have. You did not overreact, you prioritized your safety, as you should.

As for advice, for some reason men seem to back off when other men are present. It shouldn’t have to take that, but it often does. Can a male friend come for a run with you?

If you don’t feel comfortable going out, don’t. Forcing yourself to will only make you feel bad. Take some time to recover, then try again.