Dora said 11 years ago:

I got wind that my high school class is planning our 5 year reunion. I don’t think many of them have jobs and they have far too much time on their hands. But, frankly, I don’t have a job yet either but I’m in college full time and I’m not stopping really any time soon. Get done with my undergrad straight to grad school.

Anyways, this whole reunion thing makes me nervous. My senior year was just a cluster-expletitive deleted- mess. I won’t go into the reasons why, because they really aren’t pretty and I’m still kinda ashamed of it. But, I’m afraid these people will think I still am who I was back then. I’m a pretty awesome person now. I’m bubbly outgoing and I’m healthy and happy. I have tons of good friends and almost no enemies, except when I start yelling at my neighbors who always seem to be smoking pot and it just permeates the whole apartment building and makes my head hurt.

I’m also afraid there will be some sort of big thing for the people in our class who have passed away. Because one of them is the guy who raped me. (Though I don’t really think they should, because I think he got expelled for hacking the grading system and changing grades.)

What can I do for this anxiety?

Deleted User said 11 years ago:

Is there any way you can get in touch with whoever is organising it to ask what the reunion is going to involve? You wouldn’t have to say the real reason you’re asking unless you feel comfortable doing so, but just that you want to know what to expect or if there’s anything you could bring along or something like that. Do they know about the guy and what he did to you? If so I would think it unlikely they would shine a light on someone like that, though if they’re going to include that in the day maybe that’s another reason to ask as you could leave before that happens or while they’re talking about it all?

Ruhoodenough said 11 years ago:

I know anxiety can stop you from enjoying these small things, and its frustrating. I think if you just go, and introduce yourself as the person you appear to be now, they’ll accept it. Its best to be confident. 5 years is a long time, people always improve. It won’t be such a shock as you expect it to be.
I believe you are the person you sought yourself to be, and people like you will always shine(:

Dora said 11 years ago:

In Reply to Little Death:

Basically no one knows what Chris did to me. I mean the people who matter know, but past that my old group of friends when I told them, they told me that I was lying and I was just seeking attention. There used to be a time when almost everything that spewed out of my mouth was a lie. Because I honestly thought it was fun to see what some people would believe. As far as I know, the people who are planning the reunion are the people who were on the school council for our class. And I’m friends with some of them on Facebook. And I’ve been keeping tabs on what they’re talking about as far as the reunion. It almost seems as though they just thought one day about it and thought they’d do it. Because I know that my sister’s 10 year reunion was something people were planning for like two years.

My fiance comes with me to everything, so I wouldn’t be alone. And if anyone gets lippy with me, he has this tenancy to defend my honor. He’ll make sure that I don’t get upset.

I expect that at least the people who are friends with me on facebook, maybe looked at my profile or seen my stuff once or twice on their feed and can tell how well I’m doing. I just worry, because I used to be an awful mess.